People who constantly complain about being poor to you are actually plotting against you.
Stop foolishly feeling sorry for those who constantly complain about being poor. Their "lack of money" isn't out of necessity, but a carefully crafted scheme. In the adult world, frequently complaining about being poor is a get-out-of-jail-free card; the subtext is: I don't want to contribute, so don't expect anything from me, and don't blame me.
Many people have suffered from this "pleading poverty" tactic. When friends mention meals, gifts, or helping out, the other person immediately starts playing the victim—saying they just paid rent, paid off credit cards, or their business is struggling. You soften, offer to pay, and then it's taken for granted.
What's even more disheartening is that these people are only poor to you. The next minute, they're buying themselves new clothes, the latest phones, and indulging in lavish parties. Their so-called lack of money is just an unwillingness to spend on you; their so-called difficulties are just an unwillingness to take responsibility for you.
In relationships, complaining about being poor is even more hurtful. Some guys shower you with sweet words when they're pursuing you, but the moment it comes to making an effort, they start complaining about being poor. He says he's short on money when he doesn't give you gifts on holidays, and he says he's struggling financially when he doesn't pay for dates. You feel sorry for him, understand his hardships, and compromise every time, even spending your own time and money.
But you slowly realize that he's not truly poor; he's just stingy and selfish. He can spend hundreds or thousands on game purchases, and he can go out drinking and dining with his friends without a second thought, but he won't spend a single penny on you. His poverty is a calculated move, taking advantage of your soft heart and easygoing nature.
In marriage, this kind of feigned poverty is even more subtle. Some men say they give all their salary to the family, but if you really want to buy a piece of clothing, enroll the kids in a class, or improve your lifestyle, he immediately starts sighing: "The family is under a lot of pressure, expenses are high, we need to save wherever we can." You believe him, scrimping and saving, even sacrificing your own comfort. And what's the result? When it comes to lending money to friends or doing favors for family, he's incredibly generous, without batting an eye.
This isn't poverty; it's favoritism, it's defensiveness. In his heart, your needs are unimportant, your feelings are irrelevant. He'd rather spend money on outsiders to save face than let you live comfortably. This kind of complaining about being poor essentially means he doesn't consider you one of his own, treating you as a tool to share hardship but not happiness.
A truly responsible person who cares about you will never complain about being poor. Even if they encounter difficulties, they will silently shoulder the burden, working hard to earn money and solve problems, instead of constantly playing the victim in front of you, dumping their anxiety and pressure on you.
Like many ordinary parents and reliable partners around us, even with low incomes and hard work, they never complain about being poor to their families. Even if they have to scrimp and save themselves, they want their children to eat well and their loved ones to live comfortably. They don't say sweet words, but their actions tell you: I'm here, you don't need to be afraid.
True poverty is silence, hard work, and not wanting you to suffer; while constantly complaining about being poor is calculation, selfishness, and wanting you to unconditionally tolerate something you don't want to give.
A single sentence to wake you up: Where your money is, there your heart will be. Someone willing to spend money on you doesn't necessarily love you that much, but someone unwilling to spend money on you and constantly complaining about being poor definitely doesn't care about you.
Stop making excuses for those who always complain about being poor, and stop foolishly playing along. You understand their hardships, but who understands your sacrifices? You scrimp and save for them, yet they scheme against you behind your back.
The most sensible self-discipline for an adult is to stay away from those who constantly complain about being poor. Once you see through their scheme, cut your losses. Don't use your kindness and sincerity to pay for someone else's selfishness. Your kindness is precious; save it for those who truly deserve it.