Can you allow your child stay with your ex?
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There could be an emergency when the real parent of a child may not be around for a while or when the child may have to travel for an important occasion in another town, and there would be no family or friend in mind to look after the child except the person’s ex.
If that is the case, and you were in that position, would you allow your child go and stay with him?
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For some people, their answers would depend on the way they and their ex ended their relationship. If the relationship ended with a serious fight, then it would be a no no, but if it ended based on a mutual understanding with no hard feeling, then there would be no big deal.
For some others, no matter what lead to the break up, they believe that an ex already belongs to their past, so there is no way they can entrust their child into his care.
Others believe that no matter what, the ex might be jealous and harm the child if he secretly still holds a grudge over the way they ended their relationship. In line with that, they would prefer for the child to stay in a hotel.
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Others might think it would be a big deal if their spouse finds out as it can bring trouble into the marriage and even end up destroying the home as there would be re-connections, and those with flexible hearts would be in danger of this.
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My perspective: I don’t think allowing a child to stay with an ex is a good idea. You never can tell the person that really has a good intention for you and since he is your ex, you never can tell what’s up with him at the moment because he might have changed from the person that you knew.
So what is your view? Can you allow your child/children to squat with your ex for a few days, weeks, months or years, depending on the time of your child’s programme?
This is a very sensitive subject... I had a very bad marriage and a resulting horrible divorce, but we did try to work with the children so that he had visitation on a regular basis. It's better the fact that he did not treat me well, because the courts were supervising and I had a quick resolution if I felt that something was incorrect, my husband of the past continue to watch our mutual children. Children often feel like they are put in the middle, and this should never be the case. In some situations it is a bad idea, and you usually know this going out if it's going to be that type of relationship. I had a protection order and he had to go through Counseling in order for us to be sure the children would be going to a safe home.
Wow! It is indeed a very sensitive matter. I love the protection order that you had. You made the right choice. Thanks for your response. I am sure other readers would read it and gain something from it.
I hope it's helpful for others. I went through a lot in those years. It paid off in the end with a lot of worry and prayer.
Wow! You are definitely a strong woman. I am very proud of the fact that you overcame that. A lot of people don't and they would end up being destroyed
That is very kind and insightful and I agree. Some would have given up, it's true, but there is great reward by staying the course. hugs