Living in a country that doesn't match your passport, final edition: Downsides

It was about 6 years ago when I decided at the encouragement of a friend to go over to Thailand and live / possibly work for a year when I was not very happy with my employment opportunities after graduating from college with a degree in Economics. I kind of fell in love with living here and am still here well beyond the time that I promised I would go back. Sometimes I look at my situation and think I am making a mistake but the good news is that I am still putting money away in the bank and investing, even though my wages are probably around 1/3 - 1/4 what they could potentially be if I was back in Texas.

I really like it here but it isn't all blue skies and good times. There are downsides to living so far away from where you are from. Previously I focused entirely on the difficulties of getting and keeping visas and I've said enough about that. There are some other downsides that I believe affect not just this, but likely all expat areas around the world.

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You wont live in a tropical paradise

When I first moved here I had grand ideas of waking up in my house within sight of the beach, having the sounds of birds and waves brighten my morning, and then enjoying my morning coffee staring at the emerald sea before starting my day. Yeah, that's not what it is like at all.

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It's far more likely you are going to end up living in something like this and even this would be more mid-range. Almost everyone I know lives in a suburban area of strip houses that are all the same and have almost nothing in the way of nature to them. It can be a bit depressing I guess but it's still incredibly cheap when you compare it to most western places. There are people that have exotic houses near or even on the beach sure, but those people are multi-millionaires that live in a completely different world than the rest of us. As a renter you are going to get a place for like $3-400 that is partially furnished and quite basic. That's fine for most people and it is fine for me, but it certainly isn't like a movie.

The Language is tough

perhaps this is not so bad for people that studied Spanish in high school and then kept up their skills on Duo and then moved to Mexico or somewhere in that direction, but for me learning Thai has been extremely difficult. Just when I think I have the grasp of a certain situation some child will easily confuse me and suddenly I find myself reaching for my translation app to get things done. Dating can be difficult in this regard as well because after you have been here for a bit, you stop being interested in dating a super hot girl that you can't talk to. There is a big push to learn English in this country, and that is why I have a job here, but for the most part the locals do not have a level of proficiency that would make them comfortable hanging around foreigners and vice-versa. Chances are you are going to be hanging out almost exclusively with other foreigners and this brings about another downside.

Basically everyone is a pisshead

This unfortunately is a major part of the Thai expat community and I would imagine it is a global phenomenon in expat communities around the world. Drinking is what people do, and they do it a lot!

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While the above picture is just one out of probably Bangkok, it is very common all over the country. A bunch of middle aged mostly guys sitting around yukking in up and all of them getting extremely drunk. There are fights often and the conversation isn't really the best. A lot of people claim that there is nothing else to do and I suppose to some degree they are correct because they haven't looked for anything else to do. Drinking is a great way to meet people sure, and if you live here for any amount of time the urge to participate in this sort of thing is going to come knocking at your door often. Of my very small network of friends most of them never do anything other than go out and get drunk and therefore you either join them, or never see them. It is very easy to slip into alcoholism over here and I think this is very dangerous especially for younger people like me. I have seen many a people waste away their 20's and most of their 30's (maybe even longer) only to eventually have to return back to their home country with very little in the way of savings (if any) and now they have the added bonus of an addiction to alcohol. That's a bad mix!

you are far from your family

While this might not be the case for someone living in Central America or Mexico, for me, it is a massive rigmarole if I am going to visit my parents. No matter how you slice this trip, I am going to be spending 40 hours or so in transit and it is going to cost me over $1000. I go once a year and it is nice but all the while that I am over here I am completely missing out on what my siblings and parents are up to and I barely know my cousins and uncles and aunts.

Family is pretty important to most people, and after a while in your self-imposed exile you start to feel like you are not a part of it anymore. This can lead to some depressing days and thankfully I do a group chat with my parents on a regular basis just to keep things fresh.

I'm sure it is sad for everyone to see their parents getting older, but when you are on the other side of the planet, it hits you even harder. Speaking of which, I should book some flights to go back and see them this summer. I think I'll do that right now.

Overall I think the benefits outweigh the downsides when it comes to living abroad especially since the United States, where I am from, is just absurdly expensive right now and likely will remain that way. I think you just need to keep your head on a swivel, look out for your physical health by not drinking too much, and look out for your mental health by making certain you stay in touch with your loved ones.