Patience in Self-Exploration

One question many young people get in their life is; what do you want to do when you grow up? This post is about self-exploration, patience, and being true to yourself and the purpose God has outlined for you; not mom, not dad, grandma, grandpa or the world but that burning push you feel and can’t ignore or the unknowing you can’t stomach.

Unfortunately, Black women and girls are constantly under a microscope. Is she going to fail? Will she get pregnant at a young age? Will she stay home like her parents want her to? Fortunately, We live in a society where one does not necessarily have to pick one passion yet we are still urged as black women to pursue what many believe to be safe, bread-winning occupations. I find this to be especially true with those who are coming from families where you may be the eldest, first-generation college student or first-generation American, or coming from a low-income background. Though this may be the dominant narrative there are women and girls that I respect and love perusing their passions, even if that means it’s something they do on the side because they are PASSIONATE and DEDICATED. (I have included links to some of their YouTube channels and websites below)
We often want to make changes to our lives yet many do not get introduced to their passions until much self-exploration and growing. Sometimes people fall into the trap of doing something their whole lives simply because they are good at it never finding the road that was for them.

Patience & Faith

Patience is one of the hardest things to practice especially in the age in which we live as we are so used to instant gratification. However, when it comes to filling out a job application, funding proposals, creating a website, launching your business all by yourself, being a new mother there is quietness and a stillness that is required. Often we feel the need to answer to everyone but ourselves. We check in on everyone except ourselves. We are quicker to punish and curse ourselves for our mistakes, slip ups, and failures then we are to reflect on our growth and how far we have come. Exercising patience is indeed an exercise sometimes you have to do 10 reps in one sitting.

Practice, breathing into yourself, giving yourself a reflective day off to be thankful for what you have and the knowledge that is already within you. Remember you have everything that you need within you or near you and it is in your power to access it.
The biblical definition of Faith is “Confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Faith isn’t hoping that you will get a call back for the interview or hope you got into that school or program and stressing about it. Faith includes and unwavering relationship with confidence. Confidence, when you deep down want to be afraid, stressed, and broken. Confidence in what you do not see right now with the assurance that it is there or will be. Right now I am finding that I am having to take enormous leaps of faith and I must have the confidence that God will not drop me.

One must have an unwavering confidence that sees past everyone’s doubts and fears. Just because you have a vision doesn’t mean you share it with everyone as there are real dream killers out there. People kill dreams, not because they are hateful but because they were never able to make their dreams a reality so that can’t imagine someone like you, someone they know, being able to do it. Protect and build your confidence or find yourself losing faith.

Self-exploration

I have seen many Black women and girls stick to what they know. Stick to the same type of toxic ass relationships and people, the same neighborhood, the same diet hoping that things change around them. The very definition of insanity is doing something over and over hoping for a different result. If you are truly on a quest to develop yourself, gain new skills, foster great relationships, and try new things – you have to be comfortable with being extremely uncomfortable.

I made the decision to go snorkeling in an underwater cavern with one of my good friends. The cave had sharp rocks coming from the roof, and below me there we sharp rocks below the water it was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They told us to keep our heads down because we could get hurt but every time I put my face down to look in the water, I became so overwhelmed. I had to breathe out of a small tube and be careful to hit my head on the rocks. But once I calmed down and focused on the beauty of the cavern I was astonished.

Sometimes we will be in places that are unfamiliar to us and will require a new level of strength and dedication, but remember Gold is only refined through fire. If you desire to be a particular person and see yourself living your imagined lifestyle be prepared to experience new levels of yourself you will be surprised at what you can accomplish.

Even if you feel you have it all together be one who is conscious of yourself, how much have you changed between this year and the last, what are you proud of, how have you and your friends grew within the last 6 months? Really be one who is aware of your place in the world and the energy you emit, do you leave a trail of destruction everywhere you go? Are you a healer, a builder, a giver?

Emptiness

Sometimes when we are not where we want to be, we can feel incredibly empty and unfulfilled. We often run from emptiness, and we seek to fill the void within ourselves with things that are not necessarily fulfilling. Sometimes we are ignoring the emptiness and find loneliness in it. I encourage you to sit with that emptiness and question what can fulfill you not fill you.
Rumi wrote an excellent piece on Emptiness, and I will close beckoning you to read it in its entirety. Here is an excerpt of the larger poem please click this link to read the entire poem.

I’ve said before that every craftsman searches for what’s not there to practice his craft. A builder looks for the rotten hole Where the roof caved in. A water-carrier Picks the empty pot. A carpenter stops at the house with no door.
Workers rush toward some hint of emptiness, which they then Start to fill.
Their hope, though, is for emptiness, so don’t think You must avoid it. It contains what you need!