Family , to cry or not to cry

I had 2 original grandmother pass away as well as a mother , uncle snd aunt and other people I knew wether by death or suicide . I only cried for one person . Wtf is wrong with me I ask . I ask because I cried over the person who hurt me the most !!!! Maybe cuz I still held her in contempt in my heart for destroying my my/our family . It’s hard enough being told your an accident when your 6-8 years younger then your siblings !!!!!!. Who would scold me over what I put on fb was in appropriate . Well , they grew up normal and got out mid abuse life style where’re I got 18 years of it . They don’t get my humour and honestly , they can go fuck themselves !!!!!! Although it’s unknown if I cry at their funerals !!!!! All bets are on. We can split the winnings 50/50