Parenting: Helping Children Develop A Positive Sense of Self

ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM

We all have an inner sense of who we are, what our appearance is, what we are good at and what our weaknesses are. We develop the picture of ourselves through the time that begins in the first years of childhood and continues into adulthood. The image is influenced by interpersonal relationships with important people and our life experiences. Self-esteem takes on the feelings of love, respect and acceptance that we get from the social environment and on the other side of our own acceptance of ourselves. Two poles that build the whole picture of our self-esteem.

Parents play a key role in shaping the child's (positive and stable) self-esteem. The family is the most important cell, it's the place of the child's primary environment, where he receives the first information on subjects, social relations and evaluation criteria. On the basis of received feedback, the child gradually forms an image of himself.

POSITIVE AND STABLE SELF-ESTEEM

Positive and stable self-esteem acts as an armor that protects a child against life's challenges. Children with a more stable self-image know their strengths and weaknesses well and cultivate positive feelings for themselves. We can notice they solve problems easier and resist negative pressure. These children are personally more realistic and at the same time optimistic. By nature, they are also more pleased, enjoying social activities, as well as in independent engagements. When faced with a new challenge, they are focused on finding solutions without expressing dissatisfaction or underestimating oneself and others. Children accept themselves and live a fuller life.

PARENTS AND THEIR ROLE

The family is the first place where the child encounters certain patterns of action, which he also begins to imitate. On the basis of these influences, his self-esteem develops. Parental role is thus both important and demanding in the development of a child's positive and stable self-esteem.

First, let's try to be positive role models for our children. Let's nurture our self-esteem and not be too strict with ourselves, pessimistic, or unrealistic to our abilities and limitations because we are like mirrors to our children. The child's family environment should experience a sense of physical security, affection and emotional stability. The child will confide us their problems (school and emotional issues, etc.), which we'll try to solve together. By doing this, we'll gain our child's trust and learn how to communicate and express emotions, which are important components for the development of a positive and stable self-esteem. In our emotions, we are primarily spontaneous and loving. The open display of love will help shape the child's more stable self-esteem. Let us hug our own child and tell him that we are proud of him when we see his efforts and dedication, regardless of the success or defeat he experiences (different competitions, grades in test tasks, etc.). Children are also very sensitive to our words, so special care is needed in choosing them. The praise should be sincere, frequent, but not overly exaggerated since the child can lead this in an exaggerated egoism and a sense of superiority, which can end with unpopularity and even exclusion from the circle of friends.

As parents, we also need to pay attention to the child's false beliefs about himself (eg, his physical appearance, his abilities, etc.). It is important that parents recognize the child's irrational attitude towards himself and help him to be able to evaluate himself more realistically because the wrong perception can become a child's reality. In order to help create a more stable self-esteem, we can also enroll​​

a child in activities that promote co-operation rather than competitiveness. For example, training workshops where older children help younger ones with learning and volunteer work, which has a special impact not only on our child but on everyone involved in the process of events.

In the process of building a positive and stable self-esteem, it is important that parents find the right measure — ''just enough'' and help our children to believe in themselves and discover and recognize their own potentials. Only this way we will bring the child into an autonomous individual, with positive self-esteem and respect for himself and others. A child will always be grateful for this, as for us it will be easier to let him be his own person and live his own life.

Talk to you soon.
Much love,
SR*

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