Thank you for your kind words, so sweet! It is difficult at days like this especially. But I dried my tears in the shower as I did not want to ruin the little one's special day. My plan is to indeed get a private detective in a while when I feel like I am far enough in the process of writing it all down to make steps sewing them. That PI was also in my head to get a clear view about the whereabouts from the father, actually. He is in a criminal organisation and I would like to know on forehand how big his network is, maybe it will even be helpful getting him arrested by then, this will make my case easier. But I am not ready yet for this, I don't have enough trust in people that I don't know contacting them for this. It's not the time yet. I know they miss me but I am so afraid about them being brainwashed by him. I really hope that because I am not in the neighborhood, he is sort of "forgotten" about me, and doesn't see the need to talk bad about me now. Because he feels I am not a threat at this point. And that's exactly my intention, wait until he really does not expect me to be in the picture again. For today we have made the best out of it and the little one is passed out, and was very happy and satisfied :) So mission accomplished. Thanks again! xx