RE: Kids taken from those who grew up in the system
You are correct that if you are a former foster child, your children are at more risk of being taken by CPS than other people's children.
What a shocking story of your friend and the difference between when he did NOT use his last name for his children, and when he did!
When my friend whose toddler broke his leg was being investigated, they dug up past history of her and tried to use it against her. In her case, her parents had been reported when she was a child to CPS. CPS investigated and did not pursue it any further. Jump forward to present times and they tried to tell her that since her father had abused her as a child, it probably means that she is abusing her own children. ... what?
Back then they decided that she was not being abused, and now they say that she was?
And in the cases where children have been taken away to foster care, they assume that those children grow up incapable of raising their own children. So they believe that their own system of 'helping' children doesn't work, since the children that they 'helped' grow up to be abusers anyways (according to them.) It's a viscious cycle. They take the first children, and then can take their children, and then can take their children.
I'm glad that you and your children have been able to avoid that cycle.
They have their dad's names not mine I am wondering if that is why I never really had many issues at home with CPS even when my ex tried to use them to harass me after our divorce
Perhaps. Whatever the reason, I am glad.