Your commitment to a true portrayal of the character you have developed is admirable. My partner and I have often lamented that "lazy writing" caused a character in a book or movie to act in a way that was, well, out of character. I enjoy a book where the reader can infer a character's motivation for an action by analyzing their actions before. It takes the type of willpower you rightly say is needed to act in kindness in the face of violence, to stick true to the people you are creating on paper. I relate to Gertude's ability as a mother to "just...move on." Thank you for such a thought-provoking reply 🌱