Torundel the Shitposter! part X

katharsisdrill (71)in #fiction • 4 years ago

X
Torundel shivered. »A letter?«

»Tell me, my friend,« the Count said, »have you ever heard of a phenomenon called Shitposting?«

»I have,« Torundel said, trying to sound unaffected. »Shitposting is when warriors combat each other in wit and poesy sent in secret messages. The shitpost is an old art form and a judicially valid duel to the death.«

»Exactly,« the Count replied, »so what do you make of this?« On the paper Torundel was handed he could read the words that Uranumsia and he had written two days earlier:

My penis balls are watching you; you son of a fur ball twat.
With a feline stare!

»Do you know what feline means?« the Count asked.

»It is a family of animals.«

»Correct! You are good! My scholars tell me the vermin – can't remember the name; the one that eats poor people's babies – is a feline. What do you make of the letter?«

»This is Inamergina – the beginning,« Torundel responded in a weak voice. »An opening taunt that will lead to a duel to the death.«

»That is exactly what my scholars tell me. A duel on words. Somehow I am obliged to participate and my life is the stake! And that is why I need your help my friend!«

Torundel shivered.