CHAPTER V : THE TRANSPOTIMERS ( TIME MACHINE)
THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION SONG TO THE STORY
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CHAPTER V
I, Infinite Chaos was born the day the gods achieved victory over the forces of chaos. Therefore, I am the evidence of God’s ability to conquer chaos. When I find myself in a sticky situation, my ears are subjected to frequent and unpredictable flooding of chaos.
It was a Wednesday night and we were bored, we had spent the first three days of the week on re-programming some wormhole codes and upgrading one of the functions Roberto TM added to the Transpotime21bus, the major function we upgraded was the stealth mode, the stealth mode makes the bus invisible when activated. This became necessary as we had to be more careful on our several journeys through time, we wouldn’t want unwanted eyes seeing it. We had to take extra care and ensure that the stealth mode doesn’t fail at any point and exposes the bus. It was not an easy task as the stealth mode was a new invention by Roberto TM and had a lot of bugs we had to fix. After we finished with the re-programming, we needed to blow off some steam. Hollowman9000, the man about town among us, suggested that Roberto TM and I go clubbing with him in one of Amsterdam’s myriad nightclubs, but Roberto TM had a better idea, he suggested we took the Transpotime21bus three days into the future to attend the grand re-opening of Gabric, one of the best and biggest nightclubs in London. Amsterdam was still as fun as can be but it was starting to feel normal to us and we needed something new. We needed a new thrill and it doesn't get more thriller than Gabric. Besides it was an opportunity to test the stealth mode function and be sure the black wormhole radiation wont have a negative effect on the function. The following is my account of what transpired that night.
We docked the Transpotime21bus in an underground garage, activated the stealth mode and waited around for a while to make sure it doesnt deactivate itself. When we were sure the stealth mode was working perfectly, we headed for the club in a taxi. The air of London felt different and like the other times we had travelled in time; it feels good to know we were experiencing an adventure like no one outside our crew had experienced before. We finally got the club after spending quite some time in traffic, the irony was not lost on me, here we are time travellers with the technology to travel through time and space and we were still limited by traffic like everybody else, I chuckled to myself as I thought about it. At the entrance to the club, it was evident Roberto TM was quite popular around here. The bouncer at the door gave him a fist bump after collecting a tip. When we entered the club, Roberto TM and I were the only white men there, and for some reason we could not pick up any women, I suggested this was probably because our penises weren't black. Strange enough, Hollowman9000 was black and he also did not get a woman either, perhaps because women could not see his big penile destroyer in his pants. We were at Gabric for about an hour but were disappointed at the atmosphere; it was not at all what we were expecting.
Hollowman9000 then mentioned that there was a reggae house party going on not far from where we were and asked Roberto TM and I if we could all go. At that point, we would have taken going for a swim in the river Thames over what were enduring at Gabric, besides Hollowman9000 seemed sure we would get women. So we went with him to the reggae house party.
Before entering the reggae house Hollowman9000 told us “come on guys don’t embarrass me, please beer bellies in!’’ We took a deep breath, held it and maintained flat stomachs.
Roberto TM and I were the only white men there again. We saw two big black men looking at us seductively and we both felt very uncomfortable, their look was making us feel like sex objects. We started dancing with our back to the wall as a precautionary measure.
In the meantime, Hollowman9000 wandered around the house on the lookout for a free lady. We already observed that there were three white girls in the house, and after a while Hollowman9000 picked up one of them, Roberto TM and I still couldn't get women, so we decided it was time to leave, we flagged down a taxi, got in and went to a hotel.
Once in the hotel, Hollowman9000 asked me: “Would you like to have a threesome with me and this girl?” I laughed and said: “This girl, do you even know her name?”
Hollowman9000: who has time for that, it is a one night stand. No one has time for introductions, are you interested or not?
Infinite Chaos: well, let me sleep on it.
Hollowman9000: are you kidding me? This is a once in a lifetime offer only for tonight!
Infinite Chaos: What will I gain from this?
Hollowman9000: Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
Infinite Chaos: What I will gain are cuts and bruises, she looks like a wild cat to me!
Hollowman9000: You seem to have no sense of occasion!
Infinite Chaos: It’s not a sense of occasion but a sense of survival!
We both laughed and headed in the direction of our rooms; Roberto TM had already gone to his room. Two hours later Hollowman9000 came down and banged on my door and asked for a condom saying he ran out. I said “Wow man you are a sex machine, two hours and still going strong!”
Hollowman9000: She loves my big gun. I know sex is a sin, but sometimes a necessary one.
Infinite Chaos: I think you are committing far too much of this sin tonight. Be careful or you will end up drained!
A few hours later Party girl (that is what I call her whenever I tell this story as we never asked her name) knocked on my door saying she could not sleep in the same room as Hollowman9000 as his snoring did not let her and asked me if she could spend the night in my room.
I felt sorry for her and I said it would be ok but only if she kept to her side of the bed. I had shared rooms with Hollowman9000 before and I could relate to what she was going through. She quickly agreed and slowly walked to the bed, she deliberately took her time doing that and right then I knew she had a plan, I could have gotten out at that point, but I didn't. She lay down on the other half of the bed quiet for a while; then she turned her head towards me and asked: “Did you really want to have sex with Hollowman9000 and me?” I responded with “No of course not!’’
Party girl: Most men would say yes
Infinite Chaos: Well, the problem is, I am not most men!
Party girl: Open your eyes and let your gun take flight
Infinite Chaos: My gun is not an aeroplane!
Party girl: Do not deny the challenge of your gun
Infinite Chaos: It’s not a challenge but the weakness in here my gun must overcome
Party girl: The real test of your gun is between my legs.
Infinite Chaos: You look for my gun in the wrong place and you want to prove that all men are the same. Please, you can’t touch my leg!
Party girl: I just did
Infinite Chaos: You need a permit!
Party girl: A permit from who?
Infinite Chaos: From my wife
Party girl: Well, whether your wife likes it or not, you are mine tonight
Infinite Chaos: Hey, don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, I am warning you!
Party girl: Thanks for the warning! I think your gun is trying to communicate with me
Infinite Chaos: For your information young lady, my gun is in a state of rest!
Party girl: The calm before the storm?
Infinite Chaos: Tell me this is not happening! I can feel now the storm right between my legs!
Party girl: I can see, you want my help
Infinite Chaos: I have absolutely no need for your help.
Party girl: What are you afraid of?
Infinite Chaos: You don’t have a clue what it means to be a good husband!
I don’t know how it happened but from my ears started to come out unpredictable chaos covering the whole room with excitement and I found myself on top of Party girl making love to her.
Suddenly the unpredictable chaos in my head changed tune, something bad was coming; something terrible was about to happen and if I didn't get off this girl immediately, I was going to regret it. At that point, the logical part of my brain took over and I jumped up, put on my pants and shirt, picked up my overnight bag and headed for the door, leaving her in a confused state of wanting. I really wanted to do some crazy things to her but I had to listen to my head, every time I had ignored the chaos in my head, I ended up regretting it. As I opened the door to the corridor, I saw a group of men with hockey sticks walking menacingly in my direction, immediately I saw them, I took off in the opposite direction towards Hollowman9000 and Roberto TM. I was already yelling “Roberto TM!” as I got close to his room, he opened the door just as I got there, I ran in, picked up his overnight bag and hurried him out of the room, he didn't ask any questions; he already guessed something was very wrong. We both ran in the direction of Hollowman9000’s room; surprisingly he was awake, not asleep as Party girl had made me believe, he also grabbed his overnight bag and all three of us fled from the hotel. It turns out one of the men who was coming towards me on the corridor was Party girl’s husband and someone had tipped him off that his wife left the party with some men and was in that hotel, so he was coming to do me in. Once again the chaos in my head had saved me.
We retrieved our Transpotime21bus from the underground garage and travelled three days back to Thursday morning as it nothing happened. The experience was so much fun!