A bad calculation of life or perhaps death - A free write story

Madness by Amber_Avalona

---

A bad calculation of life or perhaps death

---

There was something not quite right about the window. An image that didn't correspond to the loneliness that was supposed to prevail in what was my home, where no one had lived since that day.

It was just a matter of looking out, carefully, and there it was. It was a woman calling with her hand. Her expression was soft and did not inspire fear.

I don't know why she induced me to a childhood memory when my grandmother with a plate in her hands called me from the window, telling me to come, Screaming... "I made you beans and rice."

In fact, I hated beans and she, at the onset of her Alzheimer's, insisted on believing otherwise, so in order not to repeat the tantrum where she forces me and I spit her food, I ate them by looking directly into her eyes, drawing strength at her gaze to hide my disgust, thinking to myself, "I hope she forgets about me soon".

What a bastard I was, now my mind plays tricks on me because I could swear that the one I saw calling me with signs from that window was her!

(End of five minutes)

A click activated in my memory. Things I had forgotten or perhaps never happened but my imagination built up from the vision in the window. For example, how could an old lady climb up on the roof of the house and from there shout at me to go up to heaven together. I think I should have mixed a dream with a memory, but it seemed real when the spark of memory bounced off me.

She was not very agile, age and illness consumed her like a candle in the night. She slowly faded away, illuminating our lives. She was the one who took care of us and gave shelter in her house, me and my mother, and spoiled me despite my foolishness. I was a child, but I could have been a better person with her and I had no patience for her.

Still awake from nightmares where everything happens so fast that I can't decipher many things that haven't been clear to me since then and that have altered my mind and my life forever, I lost both of them at once in that story that I relive only in dreams, because I lost track of the time I invested in getting out of the silence that was locked up in my mind.

How could they both fall from a tree and die at the same time? How could grandmother climb so high by herself with all her ailments?

There are those who say that they fell down a staircase, the one that leads to the top floor where the rooms were, and others who are more daring say that they were pushed.

I was a child, or so I think, I no longer trust my memories and I don't know exactly what happened, but in my nightmares I see them falling from a tree.

I spent so much time confined to that place for the mentally ill that I forgot why I was confined. But when I got out, I decided to go back and face what I had not finished in the past and was not clear about. Something in the house called to me, with the force that only gives a bad calculation of life or perhaps death. I still don't know.

For now, I've just turned back and I saw that she's inside, maybe they haven't died and it was me who went crazy. I will enter! I have to face this! But I don't want to go in alone, accompany me, I feel that there is death.

By Zeleira Cordero @zeleiracordero

14/02/2020

In response to @mariannewest in Day 847: 5 Minute Freewrite: Friday - Prompt: beans and rice*. In writing, the prompt is highlighted in bold.

If you're interested, find out here

Banner Animated by @zord189

Cat

For your kind reading, THANK YOU

---

Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://egalitarian-force.000webhostapp.com/2020/02/a-bad-calculation-of-life-or-perhaps-death-a-free-write-story

---