Driving from Ontario to Florida Five Ways to Keep Me Quiet

I love vacationing in Florida, but I absolutely despise the trip down. I know that we could fly, but everyone else prefers the trip by car?? They even tried to convince me to fly down on my own but that won't work either.

Flying scares me silly. I'm still waiting for the day when they can build huge runways that allow the plane to travel at incredible speeds without leaving the ground. I know, I know, it's not going to happen, so I came up with a list of ways to keep me quiet.

• Let me get out at every Cracker Barrel on the Interstate. I don't care that they are all the same, they are still interesting and I can find something to buy in each and every one of them.
• Don't even think of driving straight through without stopping at a hotel. I know that we would get there faster, but it's insane. We are supposed to be a holiday. I want to enjoy the drive and see the sights. And if it means taking a month to get there that's okay too.
• Instead of driving in our car, rent a motor home. I promise I will not say a word the entire time. Cars are just claustropbic for more than an hour at a stretch.
• Don't turn the radio up full blast every time Led Zeppelin comes on. I've heard all the songs before and if Robert Plant isn't in the car, I don't care if I hear them again.
• Don't rush me through meals. And no, drive-throughs definitely aren't okay. I want sit down meals that last at least 30 minutes. An hour would really make me happy and quiet!

Do we have a deal??