Which burger outlets cause the worst bowel movements ?

McDonald's

For me this is one of my main causes of diarrhea that I experience. Whether it is due to their poor quality meats or greasy grilling surfaces, McDonalds is a surefire way to have the shits hours and sometime minutes after you eat it. Sadly at McDonalds you are only renting the food.

Burger King

Though Burger King doesn't give me diarrhea, it always gives me really bad heart burn right after eating it. Some times I have to take 4 or 5 150MG Zantac's just to compensate for all the acid that it causes me. A part of me thinks that this reaction is mainly due to all the mayo they put on their burgers. For some reason they always seems to cheap out on the ketchup but in turn go hard with the mayo...Gross. The quality of meat at burger king seems to be a lot better than McDonalds is. Still you can tell that their burger meat is ground from the least desirable cuts of meat and organs.

5 Guys

In my opinion these guys should be executed on the spot. There burgers are almost always overcooked, which in turn leads to copious amounts of pant filling feces. Thankfully I always make sure to get a seat by the washroom when I visit 5 guys. Nevertheless, what irks me most about these burger dummies is the fact that they make you order every item separately. At the end of the day a burger, fries and a drink ends up being almost $20 and you just end up shitting it out an hour later anyways. What's even worse is, at $20 the burger doesn't even come with bacon. Hang your heads in shame 5 guys.

Wendy's

Someone should have killed this bitch a long time ago. Dave Thomas you are an insult to the burger industry. Why in the hell are your burger buns shinny? What the hell do you put in them to accomplish that luster? I am telling you it has got to be more than just grease. Sure you can get a heart stopping amount of bacon on your baconator and ya sure their beef is fresh and never frozen, but what they don't tell you is the bacon has been sitting around for the last three fucking days cooking under a heat lamp in the employee washroom. Who needs to shit after Wendy's when it already taste like it to begin with. Just do yourself a favor and throw it directly in the toilet and leave. There are plenty of better burger restaurants to go to than this shit show. Dave Thomas go fuck yourself.