The accident of the first pot of gold

I have been involved in foreign exchange trading for 4 to 5 years, and I would like to share with you the first glorious moment as well as the darkest moment in my life.
Just at the end of last year, on that snowy day, I made my first pot of gold in life, 10,000 US dollars. My operation was not brilliant. Before achieving it, I initially put my last 900 yuan of RMB into the market, with the intention of making a few hundred yuan and withdrawing it. I went through three deposits and withdrawals from 900 yuan to 8,000 yuan. I thought, oh, I've returned to the era of having 1,000 US dollars in assets for the second time. I should celebrate properly. So, with the huge sum of 8,000 yuan, I went to the town and bought hot dry noodles, dumplings, snacks, drinks, and even had a luxurious haircut. I felt that this money spent was less than 2-3% of what I had in hand. I also went to eat a fried chicken burger that I couldn't afford when I was short of money. I boldly looked at the young girls in the fried chicken restaurant and felt that having money was such a feeling. I thought that if I had money, should I find a girlfriend? Then I thought that I was only 8,000 yuan and not enough to find a girlfriend. Then, after holding this 8,000 yuan in my hand for a few days, I decided to continue trading. And then, with this 8,000 yuan, I traded all the way up to 50,000-60,000 yuan, and then all the way down to 8,000 yuan. After experiencing such ups and downs, my heart fell to the bottom. But the next day, I continued to enter the market with this 8,000 yuan and then ran all the way up to 10,000 US dollars. I told my mother this news and shared my joy. I only showed her a small part of the withdrawal records, and she was incredulous and just smiled. However, later on, I forgot about the risks in the market and thought of making some more money. I wanted to withdraw when I reached 200,000 yuan. Unfortunately, things didn't go as I wished. In just a few minutes, I couldn't bear the loss and my position was over. Afterwards, I was very disheartened and wanted to end myself, but I didn't do it. Instead, I shed deep tears. After my mother's enlightenment, it took me two or three days to recover. My heart regained its belief and I felt that I would earn back this 10,000 US dollars, even more.
I'm not allowed to post images here, so you can't see my transaction records. I apologize for that