LOL!! Surely a tart worth dying for. The lace (not white, but teal?), the cardboard, the calligraphy--wait a minute. This doesn't sound home-made. Maybe it's NOT a tart worth dying for.
Love the reference to one of the best scenes in all of cinematic history, with the three guys (four if you count the cat) in "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly,"