Tour of Heaven

A man dies and goes to heaven. Expecting a long line, he is
surprised to see nobody there at all, except for an angel sitting
in a chair with his feet up on a table.

"Hello there," said the angel, "I'm Saint Peter, welcome to heaven!"

"Thank you, Saint Peter," said the man, "where is everyone?"

"Well, you're in luck. Today is just a very slow day, and to make
the time pass, I like to give tours to the new arrivals. Would you
enjoy a complete guided tour of heaven?"

"Gosh, I'd love a tour of heaven...lead on, Saint Peter, lead on."

Well, Saint Peter takes him everywhere. They go to hear the Heavenly
Choir, three hundred angels singing on high. They go to the Great
Hall of Saints and the Great Temple of Martyrs and the man is just
overwhelmed. Finally, Saint Peter take him to the Throne Room of
God himself. The man's heart skips a beat, and the light at the
far end of the room just blinds him to the point that he can't
stand it any longer. He is escorted out.

Then, Saint Peter walks him into a hugh room filled with thousands
and thousands of clocks, large and small, all shapes, all kinds.

The man is puzzled. He asks, "What is this room full of clocks
all about?"

In a lecturing tone, Saint Peter describes, "This is the Room of
Souls. Each clock in the room represents a single human soul.
The time on each clock represents how long each is to live. Each
and every time a person lies, however, the hands of the clock move
a bit faster."

The man glances up and notices a huge clock, face downward,
whizzing around at a great rate of speed. His curiosity gets the
better of him and he asks, "What is that clock?"

"Oh that one. That's OJ's clock. We use it as a fan."