Make car alarms better!

I pride myself in having good ideas (and bad ones) and sharing them with people for no charge.

Think of it as my public service to the creative world. You are welcome. 

Feel free to use and share.

-Instead of obnoxious horns, make car alarms play the most annoying Top 40 song of the decade. People will rush to turn that shit off. Or dance in the street.

-Instead of those impact barriers on the freeway, those ugly yellow tubs full of water, just use beercans. Stack them up artfully. Fill them with water. They are basically free anyway. After someone plows into them, there are beercans all over the place and who ever did it is obviously in trouble. 

-Import giraffes. I love those things! Who wouldn't be happy if you were driving along the highway and saw a giraffe? They are like horses with long necks and horses alone make me happy.

-If Monsanto insists upon genetically modifying plants, at least create a gumdrop tree.  Big Rock Candy Mountain could become a reality!

-Let people smoke weed when they turn 70. We don't expect them to be productive or do anything important, anyway. Why the hell not?

-Find a way to compliment a coworker every day. Even if you don't like them. This isn't supposed to be funny. It is just a good idea.

-Turn the hoods and trunks of cars into desks. Flat surfaces = productivity.

-Run for a government office. Make your first order of business to fire yourself and replace you with a robot. 

-Start your 0wn church. Invite your friends to hang out and have potlucks. Sing songs. Do good things for the community once in a while. (This is a very similar idea to regular churches)

-If you have always wanted to go to Burning Man, don't. Start your own fest in a pasture near you. All you need is a good name. Use the same naming convention: Verb+ "ing" +  Noun. Bleating Mammoth. Fracking Flower. Snoring Trumpet. And so on. Then get naked and do weird shit.

-Coat your entire vehicle with Rhino-lining. It might be expensive, but you will never get a ding, never have to wash your vehicle and the resale value will be astronomical. 

-Start a food truck. Park it in you driveway. Never clean your kitchen again. Maybe you will make money.

Thanks and please add your bright ideas in the comments below.