Karius Becomes Highest Paid Clown In History

Following the events of last night's Champions League final independent sources have confirmed that Karius is now officially the highest paid clown of all time.

After a somewhat lacklustre first half during which Real Madrid captain Sergio Ramos effortlessly dispatched Liverpool's best player and attacking focal point Mo Salah, Karius displayed superlative comic timing as he decided just 5 minutes after the restart to stun the crowd with his opening party piece.

Speculation is rife as to whether or not the Liverpool goalkeeper has been rehearsing the "throw the ball onto the incoming striker's boot so it rebounds into the goal" move in the build up to the final. Such precision would usually take many hours of practice but one has to wonder if at wasn't just a spur of the moment display of comic genius.

With the crowd (or at least half of them) now beginning to enjoy the entertainment at hand Gareth Bale decided to add to the show as he complemented Karius' clowning with a phenomenally acrobatic goal. Even Cristiano Ronaldo had to crack a smile as in appreciation though no doubt he will argue that "his was better".

Fans may have been left slightly disappointed by Karius' closing act - a modern take on "butter-fingers". It remains questionable as to whether or not he actually had butter on his gloves having forgotten to take them off for his half time snack but either way it will go down as decent way to close out the evening's merriment.

Reports are already surfacing that clubs across Europe are expressing interest in securing the goalkeeper's services for next season as they look for new ways to increase attendance. At £25,000 a week his services to not come cheap but such rare talent is not easy to come by. Wherever he ends up one thing's for sure: there's a lot more to come from the gifted young German.

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