Last Bet—July 24th, 2019

Day 19

Yesterday was a tough day. I had lots of arguments with my partner. Understandably, she feels scared given the fact that I withheld my gambling addiction from her. Nonetheless, she is being very supportive and listens to me vent all of my long-held secrets and shames. Likewise, I try to be patient and remember that I have had years to process the fact the I gamble; she has only had a few weeks. 

On top of that, my sister is in the hospital right now. It's wild. I clearly see how I used gambling to escape the reality of my feelings. Sometimes I wouldn't even play, but rather go onto poker sites to read about the latest high stakes poker players. This was still getting lost in fantasy. Not reading about poker at all is actually a lot harder than not playing. For now, at least.

I will not gamble today.

Today is a good day.