season 8 episode 5

I begun watching this season with ridiculously high hopes. I knew they were highly improbable but they were not impossible.

The first thing that I had hoped would happen was that Jaime Lannister would finally fall out of love with Cersei. I mean, since Catelyn Stark charged Brienne of Tarth with the return of Jaime to King’s Landing, there were some sexual undercurrents. She was attracted to him, and it confused her. Jaime wanted her and in my personal opinion, I think it was because she was so unlike Cersei in every way, even in what rested in between her legs. She was a reprieve from the maddening and somehow sick love he had for his sister/lover.

So, I wanted Ser Jaime Lannister the Kingslayer to end up with Brienne of Tarth. I theorized that if they were going to end up together, he had to prove to Brienne that he was totally over Cersei. The only way for this to happen was for Cersei to die at his hand. I mean, she did lie to him and then order Ser Bronn of the Blackwater to end his life.

And then sweet joy, he and Brienne did it. I was dancing in my head. Only for the one-handed sucker to leave! In the words of Enam, he left Brienne in the middle of the compound weeping, like a tall lonely tree in a barren land, shaking in the wind. I know, I have crazy friends.

I also said Gendry and Arya would end up together. We all know how that ended.

Anyway, after watching episode 5 of season 8, I must say that I am very miffed! To begin with, the character of Daenerys has developed so differently from what many of us had expected. From the submissive wife of a Khal, to the Khaleesi who led her Khalaasar across the Red Waste and then over the Water that a horse would not drink to Westeros, she has come a long way!

She was so strong and compassionate and we loved that about her. Now come and see o! Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Second of her Name (in the movies she’s first but in the books she’s second so shallap), Rightful Heir to the Iron Throne, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, The Unburnt, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and the Mother of Dragons. Lady of Dragonstone. Owner of the Fiery Cookie that tames Men and Kings. (The cookie over Khal Drogo, den e saana over Jon Snow) Come and see! She has become something else.

Her obsession with power has become too much. Burning the Tarlys because they won’t bend the knee. What is that? She has become so power hungry that she’s willing to sacrifice a lot to get it, even if it means she would rule over nothing but ash and stone, over a people who would have no affection for her.

I blame Jon Snow too. For two episodes now, he has been unable to return the affections of Dany. The one Westerosi she could turn to had also closed his heart. Yes, granted, he calls her his queen but he won’t kiss her back. And he went ahead and told his siblings about his true birth.

It is said that when a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin and the world holds its breath. Here’s my expansion of that. Heads, the person is going to be a calm, level-headed person. Tails, a complete madman.

Image Source - Hot 935

I think when the gods tossed the coin on Daenerys Stormborn, it settled on heads, on the table. Then one of the gods, let’s say the Warrior, reached for his tankard of ale. His elbow shifted the coin and it fell to the floor, resting this time, settled on tails. How else would you explain Daenerys? Unless of course, all Targaryens are destined to be mad men. I mean, we never met any except Viserys and that idiot annoyed all of us. All we know about Targaryens, we know from other characters in the series.

I mean, how can you kill Varys? How?! But Varys too, he fool too much. If there is one thing GoT has taught us, it is that poison is a woman’s weapon. You tried to poison Daenerys. Is you alright? But then again, he lacks the parts of the anatomy that make one a human male so let’s pardon him.

I’m sure you didn’t realize it but go back and listen to his dialogue with Martha.

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Varys: And?

Martha: She won’t eat.

Varys: We’ll try again at supper.

Martha: I think they’re watching me. Her soldiers.

Varys:* Of course they are. That’s their job. What have I told you, Martha?*

Martha: The greater the risk, the greater the reward.

Varys: Go on. They’ll be missing you in the kitchen.

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Do you see it now? He had a little bird stationed in the kitchen, ever ready to poison Khaleesi. I think that was stupid. I also think Varys was a fool to trust Tyrion.

Granted, he took Tyrion to Khaleesi, in the hopes that his counsel would make her queen of Westeros. However, when you’re trying to assassinate a monarch, trust no one, not even your spouse.

Here’s my opinion, mixed sprinkled with the views of one of the GoT writers. Dany did not want to burn the people. After all, she only at first burnt the Golden Company (useless people). Then the city surrendered. I think that should have stopped her. But this is where the switch in her clicked. She lifted her eyes and then saw the Red Keep, where Cersei was holed up.

The Red Keep was built by the Targaryens. To Dany, it’s a symbol of all she’d lost, of all she could have had, of how different her life would have been if her family had not been slain. Notice the play of emotions on her face during this time. At first she’s sad and then she’s deciding and then she hardens her heart.

These were the people who cheered when Jaime stabbed the Mad King in the back. They were happy that my family was wiped out. Well, I’m gon wipe out all your asses too. Her character has developed so much and that too in a frightful way.

All that doesn’t bash me like how Jaime and Cersei died! Their deaths are the most unfulfilling ever! It’s like the build up to an orgasm and the orgasm itself not happening. Maddening, right? I mean, look at how Joffrey died. We all felt so damn good! And even so, ahiaa people did he kill?

Lord Baelish’s death wasn’t particularly painful but at least, what he wanted was seemingly just within his grasp and then Arya slaughtered him like a fowl. Cersei made an entire house extinct! The Tyrells no longer exist, thanks to her. In fact, if I want to state all the atrocities Cersei of the house Lannister has committed, we won’t finish today.

See, I won’t lie. I will admit it. I have shamelessly fantasized about her death, to the point where I can taste her fear and brokenness. She deserves it. Jaime, we can pardon. Within, he’s a good man. His love for his sister was his corruption and doom.

But Cersei! Oh not not! After the death of Joffrey, hers was the only death I was looking forward to. They ruined it for me.

Also, can we just all agree on how annoying it was that Euron Greyjoy kept announcing that he fucked the queen as if that was his self-actualization goal? And Bran’s blank stare like mine when I begin to calculate the returns on a two asset portfolio. Bran dey piss me off these days kraa.

Sansa po dier, her case is one for another blog post. Jon Snow dier, three blog posts kraa. Pussy-whipped man.

Image Source - Inverse

But the Night King too, you let this small child kill you with bread knife? I'm disappointed. Your blue eyes like poster colours.

Oh and let’s all remember the death of Qyburn and laugh. Kaish! Funniest death this episode. My stomach hurt. A minute’s silence for Ser Sandor “The Hound” Clegane. May his black soul, tinged with white with his affection for Arya rest in peace. His death was symbolic and if you don’t see it, ask me in the comments section and I’ll explain. This post is getting too long.

But, before I go, shall we all acknowledge that Daenerys Stormborn has made a new enemy? A very deadly one? Arya of House Stark. Winter is coming for Dany, the way it came for House Frey.

One last thing, the GoT writers; Dracarys on all your asses!