Sick Predicament - Dealing With Phobias of Mucous and of Throwing Up + Update

So I haven't been posting anything in a few days. Heck, I didn't even come to read anything. I've been sick. As a highly sensitive person, I tend to get seasonal flus as nature fluctuates, so typically in the Spring and Autumn. I tend to get small colds in the Winter.

It was a biggy this time and forced me to deal, again, with some of my fears, which I addressed in today's Tapping Therapy session.

It started when Frank had more intense allergies, which turned out to be a cold. So I may have caught it, but I had been feeling iffy for days. When I get sick, I get sick hard, I feel it intensely. I had that weird throat sensation that pinches and produces saliva, which turned into nausea. I had a bit of a fever and I spent several hours next to my toilet, but it turned out it was for nothing. Just sensation.

That's the first fear, throwing up. When I was a baby, I was sick right off the bat, what with the dairy allergy. Growing up, my immune system and physical constitution was weak, so I often got sick. Anxiety caused colds and influenza too. I am afraid of being alone when I'm sick. Frank was kind to hold my hand in the bathroom, even if it turned out that THAT didn't happen.

The other fear comes from a really intense bronchitis I got once and I felt like I was drowning, I couldn't breathe, and I thought I was going to die. All the mucous I had coughed up had gotten stuck in my throat, it globbed up. Last night I was coughing productive coughs. I have laryngitis right now. Not a complete voice extinction, but still. I don't mind productive coughs, as it lets the mucous out. Expectorating is natural, but it was a bit too thick for my liking and got stuck for 2 seconds. That's too close for comfort.

I did a bit of tapping on my own last night before today's session. It's kind of weird, this fear that the mucous will glob up and I'll die. I don't like it and I just want to be able to breathe properly. I know it'll require more work for me to get over these fears, but I feel a lot better after my therapy session.

So I guess this is a bit of an update on what's happened to me in the past few days. I didn't eat anything on Sunday. Monday I had pineapple juice and pineapple pieces with a few crackers. Yesterday, I ate a bit of soup and some rice. Today, it'll be much of the same thing but in larger quantities. I'm resting a lot, since I'm coughing a lot, and taking it easy, but I finally feel able to take up a semblance of my usual routine.

I think that the other day, I was so scared that I would throw up, that I wasn't able to. I think my fear blocked it, which doesn't entirely bother me, though the end result of not eating, feeling unwell, and having to slowly regain an appetite remains the same. As for the mucous, I don't want my body to keep that all in if it needs to expectorate. But I much rather the cough die down and just goes away than to have to wonder constantly if it's going to get stuck. With every cough, it's there, will it detach, will it be productive, or will it get stuck, will I not be able to breathe, will it glob up?

One step at a time. Instead of ignoring these fears and feeling powerless over them, I am actively working at releasing them from the energy of my cells. I know it will take more time, but right now, as I'm coughing, I am a little less afraid of the mucous my body might expectorate. I am confident it will remain a productive cough.

So, do any of you have fears similar to mine? Any childhood traumas about being sick that lead you to this point, as it was for me? There is a homeopathic remedy I can take if it really gets stuck, but I'd rather not get to that point.

Anyway, I'll leave this update/story here for now. And I'll cough up some more posts in the near future. Oh, the puns lol

Hope you're all healthy and strong! Take care of yourselves, until next time :)