Dear Diary: I Can't Wait For My Dialysis Again

It is already past 1:00 PM and my dialysis will be at 7:00 PM but I bet again it will be much later. Right now I am just not feeling well because of the accumulated toxins in my body considering that I am not eating normally in normal amounts of food like other normal people does that is why I am just envious of normal people having to enjoy food almost without limits.

I just hate this situation where I am just existing, surviving and not living but nothing I could do but to remain steadfast and let my fate draw its course if where would I land in my life but surely enough I just wanted to rest already.

It feels depressing when I am feeling unwell because of course it is different being a dialysis patient with a very infrequent dialysis session. Soon maybe if I would save some funds I will try for the other type of dialysis which is a peritoneal dialysis which makes dialysis an everyday session and I think it will make me feel better everyday than just twice a week.

A peritoneal dialysis is not without risks and the main risk is the infection of the access area but I think that it can be solved with a pertinent medication and proper management and I think it is worth it to be in that type of dialysis because of the well-being it does for the patient because the cleaning is done several times a day. So I can never worry about my appetite anymore and the feeling of being saturated with toxins in my body.

I hope God would have mercy on me and put me in a better path because my intentions are just good, to feel as normal as I can and nothing more.