Dear Diary: My Dialysis For Tomorrow Is Earlier Than Expected

I am always put in the third set when given my dialysis schedule and it means that I will get hooked at the earliest time of 2:00 PM or most likely around 4:00 PM. But tomorrow I am scheduled to get hooked for at around 11:00 AM so I am happy with that because we will get to go home back late in the afternoon while there is still the sun shining.

Change dialysis schedule like that sometimes means that a patient or two passes away. That is why I do not get emotionally attach myself to other patients or befriend them for the fear of losing them which is more likely to happen and make me go unto depression or sadness.

But I like my other patients to pass away simply because I do not want them to end up like me as this condition is really unimaginable like no other aside from expensive with uncertainty that I will go back to normality again. I am just braving it all to survive because it is hard to die succumbing to the complications of being a dialysis patient itself because it is a long process and family members suffer too seeing you going through it all, not to mention the pain, stiffness, breathlessness, loss of appetite and the ill-feeling effects of my medicines which are making all the reasons not to continue on with this life.

But I still have all the goals set in my life and I am determined to achieve it all. It is my driving force to live and press on with life so that I can have a purpose in life. I just thank God up above and steemit alongside me that I might achieve some of them before I myself also pass away.