Alzheimer's for those who care
Are you a current care provider or have experience with caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's?
My story may not be much different than your's!
My Mom was diagnosed in October of 2007 after she suffered a minor stroke. I will never forget the day she called and told me the news. A double whammy stroke/Alzheimer's diagnosis.
You see, I cared for my Grandmother as well up until 2000 when she finally succumb to complications due to Alzheimer's. From 1996 until 2000 I helped my mother care for her mother. It was not easy but between the two of us I think we did alright. She was well cared for and there was always a loving hand by her side but somehow thinking back I don't believe she knew who I was. My point being that after my mother's diagnosis I had a little taste in what I was in for, and I mean a little taste. After all, I am an only child with out the assistance of others regardless I knew what I had to do.
I sold everything I had worked for and on New Years Day 2008 I moved back to Missouri to take care of her. Things seemed very normal at first. We laughed and joked just like old times and I remember thinking, how long?
In 2010 I finalized my move to a small town in Missouri and then prepared Mom for the move to live near me in the country where life is slower.
During our house hunting I realizes that she was slipping. She had complete trust in my decisions for her move right down to which house she should buy.
The second light bulb went off when I found her struggling with numbers, specifically taxes and check books. Televisions and phones no longer worked for her and driving turned into road trips, That's the term we used when she got lost.
During the summer of 2012 after her move we decided it was time for a second diagnosis which confirmed both of our worst fears. Another not so good memory was the Doctor placing his hand on my shoulder, giving the nod and then calling for the next patient. So cold but somehow so honest.
A few years after her move I began to see some drastic changes in her attitude and her ability to judge reality. You care providers know what i mean. At first i thought she was just deliberately lying to me and let me just say she was very convincing. I decided it was time for a part time nurse to help out since I had a small business to run. Sorry forgot to mention that earlier.
Every nurse was met with resistance and sometimes down right hate! I was embarrassed and my back was up against the wall so I decided to move in.
So here it is 2014 and I'm living with my mom part time, running a business and feeling angry myself because most of my friends are vacationing, camping, traveling and living care free lives. Just was not fare. I became resentful at times but i remained focused and steadfast to keep her safe.
Last Spring we had a major ice storm in the likes Ive never seen. The storm shut down all transportation......except for mom. She had run out of food for her cat and felt it was necessary to drive to the store for cat food.
I received the phone call that my mom was alright but she had ran her car into a ditch. She made it to her destination on foot from where her car sat in a ditch a mile away. The police on the other end of the phone said they would get her home but the car will have to wait till the morning.
A few months later in May she had another similar incident however this time she landed in the hospital. Somehow she snuck out of the house between 3-5 in the morning and drove her car 75 miles to a dead end road where she got out of her car and walked around knocking on peoples doors looking for help.
This for me was the slap of reality. I suddenly realized I was in over my head and she needed professional care. Yes I honestly believed I could make this all go away or maybe her misfortunes could happen to anybody. I was on the inside and could not see out. Looking back just 6 months ago on that night, I can not believe the state of mind I was in. My health had deteriorated so badly that I am not sure if I could have survived another year of care providing. I was 225 pounds with the liver the size of a football.
Today my mom is living comfortably in a "memory care" facility. We spend hours of quality time together and even though she can no longer speak we are closer and more deeply bonded than ever.
As for me? Well Im back to my fighting weight of 175 and have been taking good care of myself through focused fasting lifestyle and meditation. I volunteer where my mom now resides and life is good.
This is just a short narrative and will be happy to include more plus share any pro tips on caring for someone with this horrible disease that takes memory and so much more. I would also love to hear from others on this topic.
Thanks for reading!
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