Why can’t I control my emotions and break down easily when we quarrel? How can I improve it?

I find myself easily losing control over conflicts in the middle - when conflicts occur, I may feel threatened or distressed, triggering an emotional response.
Then there's feeling ignored/undervalued - I can have a meltdown because I feel like my partner in the relationship ignores, negates, or doesn't care about my feelings and needs.
Finally, I lacked emotion regulation skills – coping mechanisms, a lack of assertive communication, or a lack of self-soothing skills could all lead to difficulty controlling reactions.
If you are like me，Here are some tips that may help you better control your emotions and avoid breaking down easily during arguments:

Take deep breaths. When you feel yourself getting upset, take a few slow, deep breaths to calm down before continuing the conversation. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system which reduces stress.
Think before speaking. Don't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind when angry. Take a moment to collect your thoughts so you can express them in a calm, rational way. Speaking rashly often makes things worse.
Walk away if needed. If you feel yourself getting too emotional, tell your partner you need to take a break from the argument. Walk away and give yourself time to cool down before continuing.
Identify triggers. Reflect on when you tend to get most emotional - do certain topics, words, or tones tend to set you off? Being aware of these triggers can help you better manage them.
Communicate feelings. Express how you feel using "I" statements rather than blaming your partner. For example, "I feel hurt when..." rather than "You always..."
Seek counseling. If you struggle to control emotions, counseling provides tools - like cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness - to better regulate your feelings.
Be patient. Learning to better control your emotions takes time and practice. Give yourself grace and gradually work on staying calmer during conflict.
The goal isn't to eliminate emotion - some outbursts are natural. But with self-awareness and practice, you can better express your feelings in a thoughtful, constructive way during arguments.