To live a holistic life style was a matter of life or death.

Choosing to live a holistic life style was a matter of life or death. By Edward Kelley
For many, the year 2007 brought a lot of medical surprises. It was a trying year filled with victories and defeats. This is my story of how I survived a deadly 7.5 cm ascending aortic aneurysm, renal cancer, cerebral and retinal strokes rendering me partially blind. I survived these deadly on slots all the while, holistically treating Bi-Polar Depression.
“Exceptional patients work hard to achieve health and peace of mind.
They will not take no for an answer, if they don’t like what their doctor has to say they find a new doctor” Dr. Bernie Siegel M.D. Author of Love, Medicine and Miracles Harper and Row 1990.
Between the years of 2003 and 2007 I expressed to my doctors that I felt as if I were dying, they all scoffed at me , and rightfully so, because to them, even as a tobacco user then, in 2005, I was trim, fit and in seemingly good health. In the summer of 2004, I sat in my doctors examination room and expressed to him that no matter what I did, I was in a constant state of pain and with all jokes to the side I explained that I didn’t feel as if I was ageing very well. This doctor looked at me in a most puzzled fashion and remarked:
“ Every time I see you, you complain about being in pain!” I had no reply to this statement for I was to busy picking my jaw up off of the examination room floor. This was my first red flag that revealed the truth to the future of our doctor / patient relationship.
I am now 51 years of age, through the years of my life that have come to pass, I have come to know and understand myself and my Karmic challenges through self observation, astrology and the practice of maintaining a holistic life style. Because of these facts, I state, I knew in these years past that something was wrong with my physical body so much as to the point that I had reoccurring nightmares of death and dying. It was in my plight to prove that I was suffering and ill with a potentially fatal ailment that doctors, even to this day, have doubted my words.
With a noted retinal stroke that had occurred in the month of June, 2005, an infliction that caused permanent damage to my right eye. It was then that I first expressed to my family doctor my fear of an impending premature death. He naturally dismissed this for in his eyes I looked healthy and every thing checked out. I had been taking care of myself like a good patient should and maintaining an optimum state of health through the use of a balanced diet, antioxidants, Aloes and herbs coupled with the holistic practice of Kundalini yoga, Tai-Chi and regular physical exercise.
Yet, in these years that had just past, no matter how hard I tried to feel good about myself, both physically and mentally, nothing seemed to work. My health was quickly deteriorating and I had been continually experiencing strange neurological symptoms that I did not understand. These symptoms would latter be described as Transient Ischemic Attacks
( T.I.A.’s ) Simply put, these are minor strokes that affected my eyes with flashing lights and blinding disturbances, ringing in the ears (Tinnitus), shortness of breath, confusing thought patterns and numbness to limbs and mouth coupled with an odd cramping and tearing pain to my upper stomach.
Even with the noted retinal occlusion as a result of one of these attacks, All of these symptoms had been dismissed by doctors as being a form of anxiety or as one doctor suggested; a migraine headache with floaters. With all of my pain and anguish that I felt, I couldn’t listen to these people.
I wasn’t going to buy it! something was wrong, very wrong, I knew it and I wasn’t going to back down! During this time I am thankful for the powers that be and for my wife Tenby, who not only selflessly supported me, she as well, courageously stood at my side during this time of trial and tribulation. She spoke up for me when she knew that the doctors were not listening to this patient.
Throughout my life I have been plagued with these odd visual disturbances that to date have become chronic and unexplained. It was in the morning of June of 2005 that I woke up to a typical attack to my eyes that consisted of random sparks of light and blinding flashing lights, blurred blotches of blindness. Unfortunately, this time the end results would be permanent and after the final diagnoses it would come to be known as a retinal occlusion, in short an ocular stroke that brought with it the symptoms of minor strokes or Transient Ischemic Attacks (TIA’S) with an added lesion to my retina scaring my right eye.
By spring of 2007 these symptoms had now become more frequent occurring an the average every three days. These attacks consisted of temporary numbness to limbs and facial muscles with shortness of breath and numbness to face and mouth, terrifying and by now, at this stage, with such frequent re-occurrences, that I feared I was going to loose the vision in my left eye or worse, I would fall victim to a full blown stroke. Logically, I stated this because as these attacks effect both eyes and now with the right eye that had already been damaged causing permanent blurred vision, a nagging reminder that saved my life. *
It was in late June of 2007 that these strange neurological symptoms had become so severe that my wife had taken me to the emergency room at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital (SNMH) of Grass Valley, CA. Once there, several hours later, the E.R. Doctor dismissed my complaints as being “inorganic” and “exasperated” He then agreed with a previous neurologist that I should try using an anti-anxiety medication. After this statement I then reminded this doctor of my previous diagnosed retinal stoke of ‘05 and that a recent M.R.I revealed two minor strokes to the brain. I then further explained to him that every time I experience one of these attacks, in which he was dismissing as being “ Inorganic and an exacerbation of symptoms” I am threatened with permanent retinal damage and I had the proof. It was not until then did he take into consideration my severe heart murmur that had been previously sighted yet overlooked by earlier doctors. It was then that he informed me to the dangers of heart murmurs and that they can cause strokes and or Transient Ischemic Attacks (T.I.A’s) “minor strokes” Now we were finally getting somewhere, that’s what I wanted to hear!. With this fact before us, I demanded that I be given a sonogram to rule out the possibility of any bacterial build up to my ascending thoracic valve. I was given the referral for the test and even with all that I had shown this doctor, in his report and referral, he still doubted my symptoms and passed them off as being exasperated and as well, he stated in his final report that my symptoms were and I quote “Borderline Psychosis“ and “Most of his symptoms are most likely psychological” this statement has been my most favorite diagnoses to date. I laugh at this, his impression of my lunacy may have helped save my life.
On July 17 I received my sonogram at (SNMH) That not only revealed my blown out thoracic valve but something even more alarming, I was carrying over my heart a ticking time bomb. It had been discovered that I had a deadly 7.5 cm ascending aortic aneurysm, exactly like the one that claimed the life of actor John Ritter. An aortic aneurysm is a silent killer that when they strike , they are quick, Fatal and extremely painful. This type of aneurysm is virtually undetectable unless discovered by accident. The cardiologist who examined me that day, estimated that I had been carrying this aneurysm with me for over five years! As well, at this time, it would be discovered that I had a 6.5 cm tumor on my left kidney that would be later identified as renal cancer. This explained the tearing pain in my upper stomach. These two finding’s were complete
accident’s on the part of the technician conducting the sonogram but one that I call a miracle.
“I know patients that are literally being killed by their doctors”
Dr. Siegel, M.D, (Love, Medicine and Miracles, Harper and Row 1990)
Originally, I had been diagnosed with being bi-polar in 1996, It had now been six years of the typical ups and downs associated with chemical psycho therapy. In these years, I had my own personal experience with the use of prescribed psychotropic’s. Not only did I live in a state of chronic poor health, I conceived a child that was born with a birth defect of having no thyroid gland. This is a direct result of a deadly side effect associated with Carbamazepine. (A Popular Anti-depressant) I was taking this drug at the time of conception to my now six year old daughter Skye, I had been taking Carbamazepine under the advice from my doctor at that time, with his professional assurance that this drug would carry the fewest side effects out of all of the anti-depressants that were currently available on the market at that time. The fewest side effects that proved to be the deadliest, for now, with this birth defect, my daughter will forever be dependent on her daily thyroid medication otherwise without she will slip into a coma and possibly die.
After this, I had enough.
Now, for the first time in my life it had been clear. Six years ago I made the decision to take one hundred percent and total responsibility for myself and my actions, I set out to treat and beat my bi-polar disorder by means of living a holistic life style. This choice ended up not only being one of the most difficult things that I have ever done but one that proved to be a fight for my life. Personally, in the past six years, if I would have listened to those doctors that had dismissed my symptoms as being inorganic, exasperated and borderline psychotic and if I would have continued the use of anti-depressants and anti anxiety medications I would have died, obviously.
In these last six years I have been successfully maintaining my bi-polar disorder without the use of pharmaceuticals.
I have had such success, my wife of 14 years now claims that I may have conquered the illness. With the use of herbs, mineral supplements, essential oils. The practice of daily meditation and breath work combined with Tai- Chi and Kundilini Yoga. Because of this, I firmly believe that I was able to gain control over my life and feel what my body was trying to tell me;
“Edward, Your Dying”
I don’t suggest my way of treating a bi-polar disorder to anyone, it was only that after several years of trail and error combined with careful consideration to my life at hand that I came to this conclusion.
To live a clean holistic life style takes determination and the will power to maintain consistency with ones personal everyday routine. (such as keeping with a consistent diet and exercise regime)
This is a choice that carries a great deal of responsibility and one only the individual can maintain and in reality it is a method that very few doctors will support. A choice that I and my family are thankful for.
In the year of 2007, from March 15 to Dec 31 I had received two major surgeries, Open heart, Aug.29, and my kidney removed on Dec 19. ( 8 blood transfusions, 23 medical exams, 10 lab referrals, five emergency room visits and two oral surgeries. Now with all of this, you might think that I’d be through it all, right?
No, unfortunately not, it was that on Dec 31, 2007 I ended my year with another *retinal stroke that claimed ¾ of the field of vision to my left eye, Just as I feared and had warned every doctor that had examined me in the last three years, this fear is now a harsh reality. Regardless of the crisis at hand, I am not going to allow this to drag me down.
On the contrary my friends.
For how much vision I have left to see the world by, I can assure you that this coming year of 2008 will be the best year of my life. It is by my diligence to not take “No” for an answer that I have found a group of doctors who are now listening to me and are trying their best to give me the care that I need. It is this kind of diligence that makes for an exceptional patient.

Edward Kelley currently working as a professional,certified massage therapist and a health educator.
Currently, Edward and his wife currently live in Marin County, California with two of his 4 daughters.
As poet, he is a published author of five manuscripts in poetry and spiritual non-fiction.