Hello dear Community,

today i have something which is more for germans, but i will keep this post in english, so everyone has something of it.

It's about a promotion of my book. My autobiography is nearly finish, there are only missing a few details, so it's nearly on the edge to get (self-)published.

My book treats topics like violence, drugs and crimes i grew up with. It was not always like this, until the summer of 2004 i had the greatest life. But then my parents got separated and my mother took me with her. I lost all my friends, got bullied in school and only wanted to get to live with my father whom i saw only every second weekend by law.

But why did i wanted to live with my father?

A side of the previously deacribed, there were several problems with my mother: i was many times alone at home, for her luck (or because else i would got beaten up by her) i obeyed the rules, we had a fight nearly every day, my room was always cold, also in summer and where i lived from then on was a shitty place in general. It was a house with 4 apartements where members of my mothers family lived. One was a drugaddicted dealer who followed my other uncle with an axe. The police came often to us, but in the 9 years i lived there they did nothing at all. They came, took the protocoll and that's it. Nothing happened to my dealer uncle. Not even the authorities get informed about the situation. So they never helped me.
Also the fact that my mother changed her partner more often than i my underwear didn't helped me in my situation.

What were the consequences?

For my uncle who deals: Nothing.
For my mother: Besides that i aborted her contact, also nothing.
For me: I got many consequences. Since i was much alone at home in front of the tv, today i barley know what to do with my time. I only vegetate most of the time, looking at memes and aome other things that realeses a little bit of serotonin to get a "happy moment". I got social phobia, depressed (also if not diagnosed) and i have a lack of feelings - i don't feel anything positive in my life, only barley some negative feelings sometimes. And later on i got into drugs.

Am i still in this situation?

Fortunately not! Or at least not for everything. I managed to live with my father many years ago. Life went better since then on one hand, on the other in that period everything from my past came up, which hardened my life. The mental illnesses developed them in that period amd i still have to go to therapie. But it got better with the consume. I am nearly clean. Every once and then i smoke some weed with my friends, but the rest i quited. I even managed to quit on nicotine!

But thats only half of the story!

To get the most of my story follow my discord-bookclub to stay tuned when it gets released!
(As i wrote previously this is more for germans, since my book is written in german.)

I wanted to share this with you, since it's about motivation to get out of a shitty place in life and to overcame your problems. It's not always easy, but you can manage it! Someone may manage it easyer than otherones, but the only thing that counts is that you have a good life and treat you like you deserve it.

Make it well,
BlackButterfly666