Afraid of saying I love you

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You don't control you end up falling in love with. I for one was scared of telling the guy I was interested. What did I do? Trying to use sign languages like smiling and paying attention and making sure I was in the same group with him. I never said anything so it never happened.

The fear is not always about being turned down but the disgrace after. But why the feeling of potential disgrace. In the most basic sense, being disgraced is having fallen from favour, or a position of power or honour or I'll use the word grace.

So, you would be made aware of the reality, that you were not graced in the first place. If someone is interpreting disgraced as embarrassed then sure, that makes sense.

If you feel that way then I don't think it was love. It was likely attraction or ambition.

I see three outcomes when you declare love. All unreciprocation is positive. Your feeling is reciprocal, good situation. You get rejected in a nice, friendly way. You have a good person who is already in a relationship or just not that into you. You get disrespected and rejected in a way, that's a good situation too.

In most cases it really relies on the manner of the rejection, but as I've already said, if the person is decent and can communicate properly, the most I would feel is sadness before moving on and accepting it. I don't think there is anything embarassing about love or the lack of it. If there is any shame, it mostly comes from the person, or the people around you or to your close circle belittling and mocking you.

If none of the situations mentioned made someone feel impacted by the rejection, then it is likely an issue of pride, blown ego, dismissing the reason for the rejection as proof or psychological transference. A person could only hurt you if you value them, that is a choice. Dismiss their value and you are free to think elsewhere. Don't forget that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.

The sight or knowledge of it, even if it's not made public, will change your course of action. If it’s been public then, yes, I guess you'll feel a bit embarrassed. I usually take a chance in most situations and think to myself that it does not hurt to try.

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