A limit to your kindness

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If you're trying to help others without defining your limits, that can become an undue burden.

Kindness should have clearly defined limits to be enjoyed without trouble.

Angela and Henrey met at a pottery class near the water. They got married under an old iron awning. Before he met Angela, Henrey helped his neighbor Jessica. Jessica asked him to give her a child when he was broke and feeling weak. He agreed to provide his seed. They agreed that Jessica would raise the child by herself. Henrey would not be a parent in any way that involved him in the daily life of the child. He would just see the child from time to time.

When Angela found out about Jessica, she listened and then decided to be with Henrey. For a while things worked well. Henrey was not intrusive. He called occasionally and would send an occasional picture. Then Jessica started to ask for more than just occasional calls and text. Now Jessica wanted to speak to him weekly. After the weekly calls started, she began to surprise him with visits. Then the requests for Henrey to buy things for her and the child started, and she began to act like she had a partner. Jessica wanted Henrey to take off his wedding ring during the photo sessions. She wanted Henrey to spend more time with her and the child.

Angela and Henrey started to feel the pressure from Jessica. Angela kept track of how many times and what type of messages had been sent or received. Angela and Henrey set up one clear rule. They wrote down their rule in a short letter outlining what type of contact between Henrey and Jessica was acceptable and what type of contact was unacceptable. Any requests for contact that were against the rules were not answered. When Jessica's requests for contact became more demanding, Angela asked for a mediator. The mediator helped develop a document for both Henrey and Jessica to sign.

The document does not eliminate all the feelings that were harmed, but it did stop the slow damaging process.

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