Lost and Found: Unattributed Quotes From the Stockpile #1

The accident

"Look at her. In that moment she['s] in the middle of a massive chemical storm. A previously completely inactive amygdala now firing like crazy. Her rational brain is trying [to] understand what is happening. But much like a child for the first time realizing it actually has to eat by herself because mother is no longer offering her milk the inevitable truth dawn[s] upon her. Her childishness, immaturity has cost a life. And if she [doesn't] change it will cost more. And in the end her own life.

Her facial expression shows only one thing. A desperate regret. As [she was] begging for forgivness that will never be given. The smashed gorey skull, the quivering corpse forever etched on her retina as an idol for why her ideology is wrong."

A little context: A protestor got crushed by a falling statue, after it was torn down by the mob. As far as I remember the man survived but would end up suffering from permanent brain damage. I don't know what happened to the woman.

The universal Schrödinger wave function

"[...]the suffering you create in this life you will experience for eternity in future lives unless and until you save all sentient beings by waking up the entire universe in one universal schrodinger wave function."

I don't know who said it, but I thought it was cool enough to write it down. I love anything relating to floating Boltzmann brains, Schrödinger cats, observer effects and collapsing wave functions. Asthetically speaking and despite me not understanding any of it, that is.

"Meditation"

"There's an old IKEA rocking chair standing in the corner. I used to sit there with my eyes closed until my head sunk to my chest and I began to dream. Vague Memories of this and that. Things I did right, things I did wrong. Fragments of a strange and solitary life poured into white noise. I would drift in and out of consciousness while trying to let go. Of myself, my past, my future. Sometimes I would snap back to reality with a violent jerk and look around in confusion while not being sure where or who I was. In the larger sense I'm still not sure who I am, or what my purpose might be, but I'm starting to suspect it's not happiness. Maybe my life, albeit its superficial meaninglessness, is just a necessary evil in some grand whatever the fuck. Something that helps create the circumstances allowing the emergence of something beautiful. But does it matter? At the end of the day I'm still me."

This one was probably me. I can tell. I used to meditate on a second-hand IKEA chair more or less daily, and for hours at a time. I would just sit there like Puddy from Seinfeld and commit to aggressively doing nothing. Eventually it would just turn into a fancy nap, but hey. Thinking about it, I'd avoid second-hand furniture in the future. That's how you get bed bugs, or so I've been told.

Exterminator problems

"Did I tell you guys about the apartment I went to? They had like 9 people living in it, and RG and I kept slipping because there was a thin layer of grease all over the floor. There were empty bottles of hennesey everywhere and the matriarch asked if we could spray the bedsheets because cockroaches where falling from the ceiling at night. The dad was watching youtube rap livestreams on his bed, with no sheets or crosspring. Then under the breakfast bar at one of the other apartments in the complex I sprayed beneath the counter in a plywood crack and a waterfall of roaches fell out."

Time to clean the kitchen.

Disobedience

"A prince, king, queen is a social construct and it's every free citizens moral right to defy their luicrous claim of 'ownership' over other people. Shit in their faces, swipe their legs and spit on their hands when they ask you for obedience."

As heard while attenting a secret meeting at the docks. In Minecraft, of course. But seriously, this doesn't represent my opinions whatsover and it was definitely not me saying it. I swear.

The elevator

"Elevator is broken. Had to carry [a] 40 pound scooter plus groceries to the fourth floor. I get home and upstairs neighbors are doing saxophone lessons. 2 Saxs doing scales to bass track. I'm in hell."

He's in hell indeed. I love those little slice of life quotes and I think they're the kind of details that might really set the mood for good fiction. Well, more like fiction I'd enjoy rather, which wouldn't necessarily be good. But then I'm sure there might be some overlap in that particular Venn diagram.

The ballad of Luis

"Guy I know moved to Ohio to live with buddies from his warcraft guild after a hurricane wrecked his house in Puerto Rico. Had nothing but the shirt on his back. Signed up for the air division of FedEx and is doing alright now. But he famously did not have the shirt on his back. The lord tested him with a big storm and he chose to toe the right path like Andy Dufrene. He crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side."

It took me a moment to remember who Andy Dufrene was.

The cake tower

"I saw a man die today. An I'm [...] I had a schizophrenic manic moment. For some reason I thought that the guy went into the cake tower, where he will eat cake and drink tea for Eternity. Yea. For some reason as he was laying there that thought came into my mind. But what's worse is I thought I too was in the cake tower. And that below the room inside the cake tower is just an infinity of rooms of him just eating cake and drinking tea. I was there with two other people and was sitting on a table watching the guy eat cake. It was like I was hallucinating or something.

There's a lot more detail to it. Like the walls disappearing and it was like the room was flying in the sky. A hole appeared in the middle of the room where I could peek down to rooms where his infinity is eating cake all the way down. You know what. I think this might just be my first revelation. Also I think the guy who dies was a cop. Idk I'm looking at a picture of a spider and it ain't giving me a raise."

Just one of those things. I really like the premise and happen to think the guy who wrote it could be a great writer, if given half a chance. Sadly that's not how life works and so it goes. I'm even sure if he remembers writing it, but for me that's a testament to great things being burried and forgotten in the seemingly mundane. Or just things that could be great, or at least interesting, if someone would just take a look and apply some love. But then again, that's not how life works.