Try too hard just to lose it

I’ve seen this happen a lot throughout my life. Usually when I lose something seeking to maintain control over something, it just results in it slipping away. This isn't a literal loss though it could be. I say it as a concept, the things I try so hard to control, I eventually lose.

I recall an instance with some money. I determined I would never spend it. I checked my balance religiously. That resulted in a number of smaller expenses on me and I spent it all in the blink of an eye. I couldn’t believe it, because I really expected the opposite in the account that I meant to keep that money. What I also try to avoid most is mostly what happens.

Just like the verse in the Bible"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it". Maybe it isn’t just about Christianity, but the way life was always intended to play out.

I used to avoid certain people to escape from the stress they caused. I kept bumping into this one guy everywhere. No matter how hard I tried I could never seem to escape him. All those bumps were a wake up call to how I was over complicating my life by trying to control every little thing. I just feel much more relaxed having my focus on one thing. I used to spread myself into a ton of different things. I did it when I was studying at school too. I would follow people, just go to random group studies and talk to random people. I was overwhelmed to the point where I was struggling to concentrate on studying and it showed in my grades. I tried the opposite and it actually worked. I did not add anything. I just went to class and went home. I was still able to focus and finish my work much quicker.

It probably just comes down to whether you like something or not.

When I get distracted or sidelined on smaller less significant things, I usually lose focus every time. This has been happening to me for what seems to be an eternity, but for some strange reason, it has taken me the longest time to realize the consequences. Days will go by sometimes, where I will have one clear objective for the day, but get so distracted by a bunch of seemingly insignificant things, and wind up looking back to find I didn't do anything even remotely significant or productive.

I have now understood by experience that a better method of dealing with distractions, not including ones that are really important of course, is to simply ignore them. I see it as easier to think about it in that manner, I concentrate more doing things that way.

Original source of the image from Pixabay but edited by me

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