RE: Cambio de imagen extremo para un micro relato
Hi genomil,
Your remake, "The Two Faces of Esther," demonstrates effective conciseness, capturing the essence of the original story with far fewer words. The condensed version portrays Esther’s emotions and motivations succinctly, offering readers a clear understanding of her internal conflict and drive for revenge.
However, I feel the phrase "Esther's illusions vanished when she was named Alondra" might need slight clarification or rephrasing to ensure the focus remains on the shock of Alondra being named queen. Consider revising it to something like, "Esther's dreams shattered when Alondra was named queen instead." This maintains clarity while preserving the dramatic impact.
If you haven't still rewritten/edited, may I suggest:
To enhance the story's standalone quality, consider adding a touch more context, such as specifying why Esther expected to be queen. For instance:
"Esther had long believed she was destined to be queen, but her dreams shattered when Alondra was named instead."
This slight expansion keeps the story concise but provides readers with a complete picture, ensuring no reliance on the original text.
Overall, your effort reflects a strong grasp of micro-storytelling, but there’s always room to refine for maximum impact!
Profound regards
Hola amiga, gracias por tu apoyo.
Me complace leer tu comentario y tus sugerencias para mejorar lo presente, si puedes volver a leer y revisar te lo agradezco, espero haber cumplido con lo encomendado.
Saludos, que tengas un feliz día.
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