The Screen Addict | Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger – much like his former archnemesis Sylvester Stallone – made a couple of films that were not looked upon kindly by self-proclaimed erudites. It won’t come as a surprise to frequent readers of my blogs though, that I am a huge fan of both actors and will dedicate today’s column to some of the unsung heroes of Schwarzenegger’s oeuvre.

With a loaded gun to my temple, I would choose Arnold over Sly, but only by a very, very thin margin. Stallone was always the more “respected actor” of the two however, because he made films like First Blood (1982), Rocky (1976) and Cop Land (1997), which focused more on character and less on demolition. Schwarzenegger on the other hand, exclusively made blockbuster entertainment in which he starred as the indestructible, almost superhuman hero – or villain.

It was only in recent years that the Austrian Oak ventured into Drama territory with titles like Maggie (2015) and Aftermath (2017). The Governator had cautiously moved in this direction earlier in his career with End of Days (1999), but the film proved commercially disappointing and Schwarzenegger quickly shifted back into SciFi-Action gear with The 6th Day (2000) and Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003). In between came Collateral Damage (2002) which, admittedly, also has some Drama elements and sees Arnold again experimenting with vulnerability, but the levels are dialed all the way down.

I don’t know if I necessarily need to see the Almighty Arnold exposing his soul. His more straightforward Eighties and Nineties Action output is a huge part of my deep love for films. Lately, I find myself falling back on “old” films more and more. It’s not that I don’t like any of the recent offerings, but I guess it is my strong appetite for nostalgia that makes me prefer to watch, say, The Terminator (1984) again.

Revisiting classics also made me think about a wonderful trio of films that Schwarzenegger made with director Ivan Reitman, in which the actor very successfully combines machismo with vulnerability. The key to this workable combination is the genre – Comedy.

The one ace that Arnold can, to this day, still use to trump Sly with, is success in the Comedy realm. Stallone has made attempts with Oscar (1991) – which I personally like very much – and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), but the films were nowhere near as successful as the hat trick Twins (1988) - Kindergarten Cop (1990) - Junior (1994). Granted, Junior may not be as strong an example of the point I am trying to make, but for Schwarzenegger fans and lovers of films that have a specific connection, the Arnold - Ivan team up is exceptionally fun to talk about.

The concept of Twins – Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as the world’s most unlikely set of twin brothers – was an actual example of an improvised elevator-pitch. The writers were trying to sell another idea to executives at Universal and when they were shot down, they literally thought up the story while on a panic-stricken bathroom break. Danny DeVito once stated that he accepted his part in the film almost as a dare, because he thought nobody would believe an idea so outlandish as him playing Schwarzenegger’s brother.

I must have seen Twins at least a hundred times. Like Danny DeVito, when I first heard about my new hero Arnold Schwarzenegger starring in a Comedy about mismatched siblings, I couldn’t believe my ears. Thinking back on it, Twins might have been the first film that introduced me to the notion of High Concept – an idea for a film so powerful, it will win you over in one sentence. Schwarzenegger. DeVito. Twins.

Twins may have been the first true example of High-Concept filmmaking and to be honest, I don’t think there has been a more fitting one since. That makes it all the more stupefying that in almost 35 years, a sequel to the film has never materialized. However, there have been rumors about a follow-up to Twins for as long as I have been going to film markets, and the pitch alone is nothing short of mouthwatering. Years after reuniting, the twins discover they are actually part of a triplet and the third brother is… Eddie Murphy.

Bolstered by the phenomenal box-office returns for Twins – north of $200 million on a $15 million budget – Reitman and Schwarzenegger reunited two years later to bring another High-Concept pitch to life. A similarly hilarious logline posed the “what if” scenario of a gruff detective forced to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher to catch a drug dealer.

The concept of KC might not quite be on the same level of genius as Twins, but it is pretty damn close. It didn’t make an ounce of difference to the 12-year-old me, though. I loved every frame of the film and saw it at least the same number of times as I did its predecessor. There is something so utterly satisfying about watching Schwarzenegger go after the abusive father of one of his pupils. As Linda Hunt’s principal Schlowski gleefully puts it in the film: “What did it feel like to hit that sunufabitch?” We, the audience, are principal Schlowski.

KC was almost as big of a hit as Twins, with a worldwide cumulative gross of over $200 million and “only” $15 million spent. Similar to Reitman and Schwarzenegger’s first collaboration, the premise and success of KC just begs for an immediate follow-up. It took more than 25 years and a different Europe-born actor though, to cash in on that promise. Kindergarten Cop 2 (2016), directed by Harley & Marlboro scribe Don Michael Paul and starring Dolph Lundgren as the fish-out-of-water, was released straight-to-video and didn’t quite make the same impact as its original.

However, four years after the original KC was released, Reitman and Schwarzenegger worked together for a third time on a project that was – on paper at least – as instantly captivating as their previous team ups.

Junior tells the story of Dr. Alex Hesse (Schwarzenegger), a scientist who, after a medical breakthrough, becomes the first male to carry a child. A film like this would probably not be made today considering the discussions about gender, stereotypes and sexism it might incur, but I am sure that back in 1994 the intentions of the filmmakers were completely innocuous.

Good intentions notwithstanding, Junior failed to connect with audiences the way Twins and KC had before it. The budget quadrupled compared to what it was for the first two films, with the worldwide gross plateauing at a smidge over $100 million. The culture mafia didn’t like it either, but no surprise there.

I feel I need to defend Junior because of the beautiful connection to Twins and KC primarily, but maybe more importantly because it reunited Reitman and Schwarzenegger with Danny DeVito.

Seeing the two actors together on screen again is in itself a wonderful thing, but I also really like the chemistry between them. Even more than in Twins, Schwarzenegger and DeVito appear to be so naturally comfortable together, almost like an old married couple – a happily married couple. This of course works magic for the film, in which the two are supposed to be business partners conducting the experiment as a team. Along the way though, their relationship shifts towards a genuinely caring interaction.

Junior holds one more intensely gratifying Easter Egg that connects it to KC and completes the Arnold-Ivan Cinematic Universe. Pamela Reed, who played a fellow detective to Schwarzenegger’s John Kimble in KC, returns in Junior as DeVito’s character’s exasperated ex-wife.

And then there are the multiple connections Junior shares with the unofficial fourth entry in the Arnold-Ivan trilogy – Dave (1993). Not only does Schwarzenegger show up in this film via a very brief cameo as himself, we also see the effortlessly villainous Frank Langella once again play the titular character’s nemesis, a role similar to the one he had in Junior. Film Geek Heaven.

I think the general public rejected Junior because of Schwarzenegger’s complete shift to a comedic, character-driven performance. Where Twins and KC still had the Austrian Oak flexing his muscles and disposing of the occasional bad guy, Junior features no violence whatsoever. That isn’t to say that Arnold kicking ass and taking names is a guarantee for success. Some of Schwarzenegger’s more Action-driven films failed to connect with audiences as well.

My favorite example of Arnold’s rare misfires in the Action genre is – appropriately – Last Action Hero (1993). This wouldn’t be a No. Bad. Films. article if I didn’t defend LAH, so I want to make very clear in advance that I absolutely adore this film. It is very easy to love a film that looks so good on paper, though. The biggest star in the world in the lead, a script co-written by Shane Black – who was by far the most sought-after screenwriter at the time – and a reunion with John McTiernan, who had directed Schwarzenegger in Predator (1987).

Black and his fellow scribes cooked up a great story about a film-loving kid who is magically whisked into the make-believe world of his favorite screen-star. This very inventive set up had Schwarzenegger essentially playing a character in a film inside the actual film, with lots of jokey references to his celebrity persona. Unfortunately, the results were disappointing. LAH lost a ton of money after a huge spend on production and marketing, and Arnold fans around the world decided they were not ready to see their hero spoofing himself – yet.

LAH is often described as Meta. Meaning, simply put, it “knows” it is a film and has a lot of fun with that idea. Meta has become all the rage of late, with characters breaking the fourth wall left and right. Hugely popular films and series like Deadpool (2016) and House of Cards, prove that it is very much a sign of this era. I believe that LAH was just far ahead of its time because almost two full decades later, Schwarzenegger’s former rival Stallone created the ultimate tongue-in-cheek extravaganza with The Expendables franchise. This time, Arnold, Sly, Bruce, Jason and many, many other Eighties and Nineties superstars very successfully – but still lovingly – made fun of their own carefully crafted brands.

Although The Expendables (2010) officially counts as the first time Stallone and Schwarzenegger actually shared the screen together, it is not the most satisfying team up of the two titans. Schwarzenegger is in the film for maybe 5 minutes total, and it is really more of a cameo appearance. Three years later though, Sly and Arnold finally made good on their long-rumored collaboration with the brilliantly conceived Escape Plan (2013).

Stallone plays Breslin, a security expert who tests the structural integrity of prisons. Basically, he gets paid to escape from jail. However, his business partners double-cross him, and Breslin finds himself forced to break out of a high-tech prison for real. Inside he befriends Schwarzenegger’s character – aptly named Rottmayer – who helps Breslin escape.

EP is special to me, and not just because of the long-awaited clash of the titans. It was the first film of many I helped acquire for distribution in BeNeLux. I read the script in the train to Berlinale, and we made an offer on the rights the moment we arrived. Years later, I had the wonderful opportunity to actually meet the Austrian Oak in person when he came to the Cannes Film Festival to sell another film. To this day, I count the experience as one of the most important moments in my life. Schwarzenegger was one of my biggest screen-heroes growing up, and I was delighted to find out that he is a truly wonderful human being, too. Also, here’s a fact that might surprise you – Arnold is not that tall, about 6' 2". When the man enters a room though, it is like Goliath just came in. The day I met him, he was sitting down at a table and still looked massive. The guy really projects himself as a giant, in every sense of the word.

Today, Schwarzenegger still makes the occasional film-appearance, but the world has changed around him. The era of the superstar, superhuman film-actor is over. IP like Star Wars, Marvel, DC etc. is the main motivation for cinemagoing these days. And that is only if people can be persuaded to interrupt their steady diet of streaming content in the comfort of their own living room at all.

Even Arnold’s heir apparent Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson can’t carry a film based on his appearance alone, like Arnold used to. LAH might be a flawed film, but when it came out, I didn’t know or really care what the exact plot was anyway. I went to see it because my hero was in it.

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