My native language is German, so it's the first time I share my testimony in English, which isn't perfect because I work it on (hope it's good enough to write understandable for you).

TESTIMONY: I was 10 years old, had felt inside me for a long time that there was more outside the visible world and had heard a lot about it, but was dissatisfied with the information I had and wanted to know exactly. It was clear to me that it is impossible to force God to show himself, but I knew from stories how much Satan should hate people and decided to provoke him until he revealed himself to me. I told insulting things about him, tried to laugh at him, at first only artificially, but I got into a kind of ecstasy and after a while I started to laugh at him for a long time with all my heart.

When I was sleeping I suddenly woke up in a place that was probably what is called hell. I don't know if the appearance was adapted to my imagination or represented the place where I was, anyway, "feeling" in that place was far more important than what I perceived visually. I can't really put it into words, but somehow hell seemed to be a "place" AND a "state" at the same time, which doesn't do justice to what I felt, but unfortunately can't be put into words better. I only saw outlines of HIM (God's opponent), also he was optically far away from a kind of fiery waterfall on a kind of throne similar to the fiery waterfall, where I couldn't say where HE stopped and the throne started (again words are not enough to explain it better). His indescribably terrible, but also powerful "presence" was much more important than his appearance anyway. After he told me that I should listen to him carefully, this meeting ended.

When I woke up frightened, I suddenly had no more control over my body. Satan himself was long gone, it was probably small, rather insignificant demons that had control of my body and were easily enough for a weak person without the Lord Jesus at his side. No matter to whom I begged, nothing seemed to help, I was helplessly at their mercy and the - by human standards - strong will I thought I had was suddenly for nothing, because even the strongest man in the world could do a shit against the weakest of all demons there is. At some point I also asked the Lord Jesus Christ for help, but honestly I just wanted to "use" him to get rid of these creatures and have my peace. Nothing happened, and I was sure I was lost and would have blamed myself, as I did not want to believe unconditionally without proof and played with fire out of pure stupidity. I did not know what they would do with me, whether they would torture me, kill me or drag me straight to hell, but in any case I was sure I was lost. Since I was convinced that I still owed Jesus thanks, even though it would bring me nothing more (if only because he offered me the chance to escape this horror), I decided to give him my life, even if it would never bring me anything more. Just when I had come to terms with my fate and had given my love to Jesus "nevertheless", it was almost as if these demons were being pulled away by some kind of vacuum cleaner or something, so quickly they suddenly went back into the seeming nothingness, into which they disappeared, so that I couldn't see them anymore (of course they continued to exist, but that's how it looked to me, when those yellow shining eyes/spots disappeared). It was the moment when I was reborn and felt the most wonderful feeling of my life, which no word of this world (love, peace, security, happiness near the highest etc.) could ever do justice to.

After all these experiences there was nothing worldly that could have frightened me and this although I was still a child, because nothing in this world was even remotely as frightening as what I had just experienced. For a few days I prayed diligently, talked to the Lord Jesus and built up a relationship with Him before I became careless again, dealt with other things, decided in the evening to postpone prayer to the next day and in the morning I had something else in mind again etc. The punishment was not long in coming. I woke up and saw something that looked like 2 slits of energy looking at me. I tried to turn on the light, which didn't work because (as I suspected) there was probably no electricity. In the following nights this happened more and more until one of those fallen ones took possession of my body again. Once again such a terrible situation was necessary to stop my miserable egoism. After I again asked the Lord for help and again assured me that I belonged only to Him, whether it would bring me anything or not (it must be "unselfish" faithfulness, since God is not a genie in a bottle who is obliged to do anything or even has to fulfill other wishes and prayers don't bring anything if you treat him as such) this beast left me and I saw that it was already daylight. The electricity also worked perfectly, so it was this fallen one who managed to make me see only darkness before and that in the morning when the sun was already shining.

This time I held out for a few weeks before selfishness took over again and I became negligent in praying, praising God, reading the Bible, being thankful etc., of course with the consequences that could not be expected otherwise. I had this problem for several years and I have to say that it was all my fault and it really took a long time until I finally got this terrible egoism and the resulting negligence under control, this time permanently. Of course I could not tell this to anyone who was not a Christian, because I knew exactly what I would have thought of such testimonies before I experienced all this (keyword: rubber cell). It was only after a few years that I was able to confide in my mother, who had found the Lord Jesus in much more pleasant ways. A little later, I dared to confide in other Christians for the first time, always being careful not to confide in lukewarm Christians (Revelation 3:15-16).

It is truly paradoxical that Satan and other fallen ones, of all people, proved to me that all this is true, but it is these experiences that have left me in no doubt and have never shaken my faith since. In the meantime I am a good deal over 30, I know very well that I still have some faults and that there are some brothers and sisters who are so much further than I am. In spite of everything I have grown in faith since these experiences. For more than 10 years these things have not had a chance with me, because I could keep and even strengthen my closeness to God. It happened that I felt their presence from a distance (mostly after talking to other people about Jesus, as if it would bother them), that they would have liked to attack me, but couldn't get close to me, which I had only Jesus Christ to thank for!

Sure, there are much nicer ways to find the Lord, but at least such an intense horror, which a "bullshit action" like mine brought with it, ensures that even the last doubt is removed. Demons may be many things, but one thing they are not is stupid. These creatures have existed much longer than mankind, let alone us, so we alone cannot hold a candle to them, without Jesus Christ of course! Without provocation they don't approach you, because that would deter you and thus bring you to Jesus, but woe betide you, you believe in the Lord and pose a threat to them with your knowledge, woe betide them, if they know that you know that they exist, then the "game of hiding" is quickly over and they attack you, especially if you have just been careless and don't have Jesus as protection, because you are gradually too fixated on the world and rather have to "only" occupy yourself with other things, but no longer with your faith. It's as if they fear your possibilities, as if they are afraid, as if they were afraid, as if you permanently realize how powerless they are when you have Jesus on your side and as if they wanted to quickly switch you off "before" that (while you are still insecure and vulnerable), before it is no longer possible and you are aware of your possibilities with the Lord on your side. I think that this was exactly the case with me.

When I think back to that time, then I also understand the connection between atheistic teachings and Satanism, the propagation of the nonsense that a person can create everything by his will alone, that he is incredibly strong and that from within himself. Perhaps someone can be very strong by "human standards", that is, stronger than other people, but that doesn't mean anything when he is dealing with the fallen. This flattery of man's strength, this feeding of his vanity, is the most dangerous thing there is, because in this way you get him to keep away from Jesus of his own free will, while even the Lord holds back in "free will", does not force himself on anyone against his will, does nothing and holds back.

Evil is clever, it knows that it cannot do anything against good in a direct way, but it also knows that some goals can be reached by detours. There are tricks to get people to open their hearts to evil of their own free will (unconsciously) and give it power, while letting the same people believe that this power over them has It of its own accord and there is no salvation for them. With atheists it is even easier, because Satan, the father of lies, only has to make them believe that he doesn't exist, after that it is completely sufficient to simply let them live their lives (without my provocation at that time he would have liked to continue with me).

This method of Satanists, who sometimes pretend to be atheists and who say, well put, that they are open to "everything" ("sounds good" for now...), which is why YOU have to be open to everything (letting demons into your heart, giving in to temptations, etc.) really fits 1:1 to what the fallen ones are doing in this world and with some of their servants it is also difficult to say where they end and their demon begins. Once you have seen through all this, these beings use people to attack you, because they can't get to you directly, but they can get to you through those who let them (unknowingly) into their heart. Probably every Christian knows this, who does his thing right and is attacked the more strongly, the more good he does, and it is such things that first make clear to you the importance of the Great Commission, which is about the most important thing a person can win (salvation).