Thank you for sharing brother.

My story is not disimilar. My drugs of choice are mostly bad food / overeating and tobacco, now having mostly let the others go. This too shall also pass, as i continue on my journey integrating unintegrated emotions.

You mind just find The Presence Process helpful btw. It is a self-facilitated emotional integration procedure, contained in a book. The Presence Process by Michael Brown. It is a phenomenal peice of work. I highly recommend it.

Namaste
Atma