The February contest #1 by sduttaskitchen|Challenges for a single parent!

Pixabay

One day , I was in the bus to work when I saw one woman carrying a big bag on her head, and at the same time she hold her little child in the hand. The thing was really heavy I believe, sweat was pouring on her body, but people was just walking pass her. At last she drop the bag, sit down on the ground and begin to cry. That picture didn't left my mind althrough that day,because it shows what single parent do face every day.

Pixabay

Single parenting is a journey which is not easy at all. It's like you are driving a motor alone for long road, but you still do carry passengers which depend on you. Every responsibility is on your head.

• Financial Challenge:
  Money is one of the biggest challenge. When two people are together, they can share bills. But when it's only one person, everything is on your head. School fees, house rent, hospital bills, food money—all of them is your responsibility. I know one woman which sell Bean Cake early in the morning, then later she will clean people offices, just to earn and make sure her children didn't miss school. That kind of hustle do drain the body, but it's a survival.

• Emotional Stress:
  Loneliness do worry single parents. Sometimes you will sit down at night to ask yourself, “Am I trying? Can i do it alone?” The heart do heavy because you do carry guilt and fear together. I remember one uncle which his wife died he's later said that; he do cry quietly after his children sleep, because he didn't want to make them see he is weak.

• Time Balance:
  Time is not enough. You will play father's role, mother's role, provider, caregiver, all join together. It's like one person being a defender, striker ,and midfielder or like a person dancing two different dance at once. Many single parents do wake up 4am, prepare children, rush go to work, come back late, still cook, still help with homework. Rest not available.

• People Talking:
  For society, some people do look down on single parents, some will blame them, some will even say “its your fault.” That kind of talk do add more load for the body. There's one young lady which people do call “woman which can't keep a man.” She do cry because she is being judged instead of supported.

• Children Problem:
  A child can ask you question which do pain: “Why don't I have a father/mother like my friend? or Why mummy/daddy always busy?” Those kind of question do cut deep on the heart.

Pixabay

Adaptation is when a person learn how to manage new situation which is not sweet. It's like a fish which they carry from a big river put inside a small bowl. At first the fish will be struggling, but later it will learn how to swim inside that small space.

For individual life, adaptation mean that you will adjust to change even if it's not comfortable. For example, when a person lose his or her job, adaptation is to learn new skill or start small business. When a marriage break, adaptation is to accept that life have change and still find joy inside new reality.

For my own life, adaptation mean that even if things didn't go as I plan, I will still find way to live, smile, and move forward. It's just to bend but not break. I'll just tell myself, “This one is not what I expected, but I won't allow it to finish me.” Adaptation is a survival, but it's still a growth inside change.

Pixabay

This matter really touch the heart. Truth is that, when a father and a mother are together, their children will benefit well. Father will bring discipline, protection, and strength. Mother will bring care, love, and emotional support. When both is available , it will be balance.

For example, there's one family which the father always help his son with football practice, while mother help with homework and emotional talk. The boy grows with balanced because both parents do contribute.

But life is not perfect. Many children which grow with only one parent can still be strong, successful, and responsible. What really matter is the quality of love and guidance which the children receive. If one parent is not available, the other one will double the effort. Sometimes family or community will help to fill the gap.

So yes, ideally both parents is important for children development. But I believe that with love, sacrifice, and intentional parenting, single parent cai still raise a child that will surely shine.

In all, Single parenting is like carrying that heavy bag while holding your child. It's hard, but it's possible. Adaptation is the skill which help a person to survive and grow inside that kind of situation. And while both parents is important, love and commitment can still cover the absence of one.

Cc:
@sduttaskitchen