sanc1: Share your thoughts about LOVE

Love is a general name which everyone is aware of and everyone expressed in one way or the other. It can exist between husband and wife, family, colleagues and it can be expressed in different ways. Some persons try hard to show and maintain the love they have for others while some have given up on love. There are so many things one can write about love but in my contest entry, I want to focus on just 3 forms of love. You may have seen these types of love that I have in mind or you may have expressed any of it or all of it. You are eager to know them right?

Attraction, Infatuation and Real love

Attraction

This is the first form of love that everyone expresses. It is that type of love that one has at first sight. It could be due to ones skin colour, appearance, status and so on. It is based on what the eyes can see. We are attracted to people in one way or the other even without having any knowledge about the person or feeling anything for the person. It could be good or bad depending on how we take it.

I was attracted to my husband the first time I saw him. It was basically his gap tooth, his complexion, his way of grooming and in fact his looks. I felt happy each time I saw him even without him knowing that I am noticing him.

Yes, once appearance can attract people to him or her. However, basing everything on attraction alone can be deceptive because more is involved. A lot of persons have been deceived by this type of love. it is just love on the surface. No root, no basis and it doesn't last if further steps are not taken. We can easily forget the person and move on. We can also decide to shape our lives based on that without knowing the reason why such person appeared way we say him or her.

Someone can easily be swayed simply because of what they can see. For instance, I e who sees someone who dressed expensively can try to imitate such a person without knowing the person's source of income. The person may want to strive to dress exactly the way that person dressed where as ones financial status can not be compared to that of the other person. We need to be cautious when having this type of love.

Infatuation

This is that type of love that is based on what a person feels. Yes, the feeling is just what forms the love. This type of love is usually the negative one because it is easily seen and expressed wrongly. It can lead to rape and abuse.

Consider a young man or even an old man who sees a girl and starts feeling like sleeping with that girl. If the feeling is not checked and controlled, it could lead to forceful entry as the case maybe because you won't have that patience to get the consent of the girl.

I recently heard a story of siblings who have sex together. What could possibly cause such if that that wrong feeling. This type of sex is considered an abomination in my tribe and so one needs to be extremely careful when such feelings are felt.

It can be positive feelings too which can move one to do something good for the person towards whom one has such love for.

One thing is for sure, feeling is natural but if not controlled, we become nothing more than animals who feel like having sex and actually carry it out wherever they see the person of an opposite sex

But when this feeling is controlled, it can lead to real love

Real (Agape) love

This is the right type of love. It is based on what a person knows about the other person. There is no doubt an element of the other 2 types of loves mentioned above but they were all channelled towards the right direction.

Real love us manifested based on what you know about that person, his or her good qualities, behaviour, attitude, abilities and possessions. A careful thought is given to what you know about a person and the love develops naturally. In most cases, it becomes mutual. This was exactly how it happened between my husband and I. When we first met, we never expressed our feelings to each other. We took our time to study ourselves independently and when it became obvious that we are ok with what we knew about each other, the love grew and was nurtured towards the right direction and it was mutual.

Can you imagine that even when he hadn't proposed to me, I usually turn down marriage offers, telling them that I already have someone that wants to marry me. I wasn't wrong because it happened that he was also studying me and was satisfied with what he knew about me. This became obvious that on the day he proposed to me, I didn't tell him that he should allow me to think about it, I accepted his proposal instantly and everything worked out perfectly that within a year, we got married.

Take note that these 3 types of love combined and properly controlled can result in something possible. But when misused can lead to negative outcomes. Therefore, one needs to aim at having the real love even one is attracted to the person of the opposite sex, or feels closer to the person of the opposite sex. It can be a beautiful thing if it all culminates in real love that leads to happily ever after!