SAC-Wk122 — Is Cohabiting called Marriage?

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If someone lives with a woman and then bears children without paying her bride price, do we say they are couples or married ?

In most cultures, marriage is not determined by living together, bearing children but by completion of stipulated rites like payment of bride price as in some parts of Africa. According to the traditional law and custom when a man stays with a woman and they bear children without paying the bride price the couple is usually considered a couple but not a formal couple. But in the social context, there is potential of a few people calling them husband and wife due to cohabitation and joint roles. It is legally and culturally varied which is determined by the customs of that community and laws in the country. Hence, they are not married, but living together or cohabiting parents in case of the absence of bride price.

What's your view on cohabiting? Is it a short cut to getting married?

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My opinion concerning cohabiting is subtle. In the case of some couples, cohabiting makes the difference in knowing the compatibility, communication, finances, and habits, and eliminating some surprises in the future. It is able to establish a team spirit and raise the red flags at early stages. And yet it is not a sure way of getting married. There is also the possibility of cohabiting to provide comfort without commitment, postpone difficult discussions, or conceal the unresolved values.

Marriage is normally based on intent, common purpose, and preparedness and not just being intimate with each other. Personal, cultural and religious convictions are important as well. Lived together, with schedules, limits and sincere conversations, can help to achieve a marriage way. When passively employed, it will put the process on hold. In conclusion, cohabiting is a means rather than an assurance; the results will rely on intent and commitment and the mutuality in promises to last long.

Are there advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting?

The phenomenon of living together of unmarried partners is cohabiting and has its pros and cons. Financial efficiency is one of the advantages because couples have a chance to divide rent, electricity and day-to-day costs. Cohabiting also enables the couple to know the habits, values and conflict styles of each other and this would enhance compatibility and communication. Closeness can be promoted by the establishment of common habits and support. Nonetheless, living together may become problematic when the expectations are not clearly defined.

Other couples live together due to convenience but not commitment and therefore, they do not understand what to expect in the future. The lack of personal space can foster conflicts and financial involvement can complicate the breaking up. Stress may also be brought about by cultural or family disapproval. In general, living together is optimal when the couples interact and get into arrangement at will.

Is it good to sexually test the person you want to marry before considering to marry them? What's your viewpoint?

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The decision of whether to have a partner sexually tested before getting married is based on individual values, culture, religion and expectations. There is an idea that sexual compatibility is significant and will prevent frustrations in the future, and it is worth becoming open to discuss needs and limitations. Some believe that the more important is commitment, communicating, and common values and would like to wait because of moral or spiritual convictions.

Trust, learning and honest conversation can also increase sexual satisfaction with time. Finally, there exists no universal rule. The most important thing is respect to each other, an informed consent, effective communication, and making a decision that is not only within the principles of both partners but also based on their long-term goals.

Thanks for reading my post I'm inviting @pea07 @bela90 and @abdullahw2 to participate.