Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week131: Dealing With An Ingrate

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In your own understanding, define who an ingrate is.

To me an ingrate is someone who gets help from another person. They do not show any appreciation for this help.

It is more, than not saying thank you. When someone is an ingrate they think the help they get is something they deserve. That is just not right. They often become cold once they get what they want from the person who helped them which's really sad.

The person who helped them might feel terrible.

They might think: I feel like I was used.

That is a bad feeling.

When someone helps another person they expect some gratitude.

Instead they get hurtful comments.

It makes them wonder why they even helped.

Have you ever dealt with one in the past? if yes, kindly share your experience.

Yes I have dealt with an ingrate in the past.

Three years ago in Lagos State Nigeria a childhood friend of mine was looking for a job he had a family to feed and bills to pay. I used my connections to get him an interview at a company.

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I also gave him money for transport and a new shirt. I even rehearsed the interview, with him to help him prepare but he did not show any gratitude to me after that.

He never repaid the loan I gave him. He never sent a simple message to say thank you which made me feel betrayed because I had helped him without expecting anything in return from him, the ingrate.

What lessons did you learn from your experience with that ingrate?

The main lessons I learned from this experience were painful. They were necessary for me to learn.

I realised that not every person who smiles and calls you "brother" truly values your heart and that was a lesson to learn.

It taught me to set boundaries when helping people I love. I now set expectations so I know what to expect from them.

I avoid over-investing without mutual respect because that can lead to problems.

The experience showed me that holding grudges only punishes me and that I need to let go so I forgave him not for his sake but to free my mind from the hurt he caused me.

It strengthened my faith in God’s timing. I learned that what was meant for my good cannot be ruined by one person, the ingrate.

Would you do good to others regardless in spite of your past experience with an ingrate?

Yes I would still do good to others because one ingrate cannot make me stop being kind that is not who I am.

I believe that goodness is not about the receiver’s reaction. About the giver’s character and that is what matters to me.

If I allow one encounter with an ingrate to change me then that person wins and I do not want that to happen.

There are still people who appreciate help. I want to help them so I now help wisely and I choose my circle carefully.

I give within my means so I do not overextend myself and my heart remains open to helping others because kindness is my lifestyle, not a transaction.

The peace I feel from doing right outweighs the sting of ingratitude, from an ingrate.

Thanks for reading my post I'm inviting @m-fdo, @ninapenda and @rad-austine to participate .