The Lesson I Learned The Hard Way"
How open are you to learning? Are you teachable?
Teachable means knowing that what I currently know is only a tiny fraction of what I have to know. I think that my personal level of openness tends to be pretty high.Being teachable requires a humility and a willingness to learn on a fundamental level. This is the openness to listen in order to understand rather than reply. This is the willingness to have your feelings hurt by constructive criticism. I strive to remain a student in life. This can take any number of forms from acquiring a new technical skill to developing an understanding of someone else's fundamentally different point of view, to correcting myself when someone points out a blind spot that I've been unaware of.
What's that lesson that you learned the hard way?
That you cannot change another person. Furthermore trying to change another person over your own peace is a war you will never win. For a long time I actually felt like I could mold another person into who I thought that they needed to be with the right amount of love, patience, and sheer force of will. I invested a lot of effort into people and into situations expecting them to respond positively to this and to come to their senses when I was done "helping" them. The point where I learned it the hard way was when those same people that I had helped resented me and I was totally depleted in every way (emotionally, mentally, and even physically). They were going to grow when they were ready to grow and by me pushing that growth I was delaying my own well being. I learned to walk away from those people that I couldn't change over myself.
Do you think learning it that way made you a better person today?
Absolutely. Though learning the lesson that you can't change someone and that you cannot carry another's burdens is painful, it made me the person that I am today. In taking so much into myself and exhausting my capacity it made me realize how important my own well being and boundaries are. Now I have a healthy love and a deep caring for others without the desire to manipulate and control them in their own lives. It is much more peaceful. My current relationships are richer because they are built upon authenticity. Taking yourself back is the first step toward giving anything to someone else.
Thanks for reading my post I'm inviting @josepha,@mesola and @ninapenda to participate.