Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 84: Dealing with "Frenemies"

Hi friends.. How are you doing today? Am sure you're good. And your families? Am pretty good too. Today, I will be sharing with you on the ways of dealing with frenemies. Friends can be either good or bad, true or fake. So just read up;

Based on the introduction given, define "frenemy" in your own words.

The word "Frenemy" is a combination of two words which is "Friend" and "Enemy". In my words, I will say that a Frenemy is someone who pretends to be a friend to you, but is also in some ways an enemy or rival. When one is a frenemy, it refers to a person with whom one has a friendly relationship that is also characterized by rivalry, hostility, or resentment. Frenemy seems friendly, yet have a hidden agenda to cause harm. Frenemies can also be known as traitors, backsliders, betrayers, double crossers, fake friends, etc.

Image Source

Have you had any experience with such people who claim to be your friend, if yes, share with us?.

The good thing about being independent in life is that when fake friends reveal themselves, you ain't bothered because you do not depend on them for anything. I try as much not to be jealous or envious of people, no matter what happens, rather i use my success to motivate myself. There is this friend I had back then in my secondary school days that I loved so much. We actually grew up together because we lived in the same neighborhood and also from the same village.

Her name was "Favour". Actually, Favour was from a very poor family background and she was in my school under scholarship from my parents. They literally fed from hand to mouth. She always visited me and mostimes, she has dinner with us in our house. My family loved this girl so much that my parents went ahead to buy the same clothes and shoes as mine. As time goes on, i didn't know that this girl was envious and jealous of me. Not until one day, as normal she came to our house, we stayed together, chatted, gisted, laughed, drinked and shared memories. So, I went to go ease myself and left my drink with her. Immediately I left, she brought out a substance from her undies and put in my drink. Little did she know that I saw her from the toilet. I hurried out and screamed.

Image Source

I was so shocked because I least expected that from her. And i was like.. "Favor, what have I done wrong to you? Why would you want to poison me?" she burst into tears and began to say that she was jealous, envious of the kind of life i had and caring parents I had unlike hers. She went ahead to say that the best way to stop the jealousy was just to get rid of me. I was so depressed and disappointed in her because I didn't believe she could do such a thing to me. From that day onwards, we became enemies and never talked to each other.

How can one guard ourselves against frenemies early enough before they harm us.

A Frenemy can harm one physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically or otherwise because we let down our guard when we are with them. Frenemies are extremely dangerous because they are part of our inner circle and can effectively destroy us from within, while abusing the trust that comes with friendship. So,in order to protect and guard ourselves from them, here are simple steps and instructions to it;

• Cultivate self- esteem and self-awareness by understanding your strengths, weaknesses, recognizing your worth, and maintain your boundaries.

• Learn to set boundaries. you should learn to say "no" to some certain things and establish your limits in relationships.

• Don't tolerate mistreatment from them. If your friend continues to disrespect your decisions, boundaries or engage in harmful behavior, it's very right and okay to distance yourself or end the friendship.

• Observe behavior. Be careful of your friend's words, behaviors, actions, to know when they are traiting you or rivalry.

• Limit your interactions. If you suspect someone is a frenemy, minimize your conversations and they way you interact with them.

Who is a true friend and how can you identify one?

A true friend is one who provides unconditional support, being loyal, honest, standing by you through thick and thin, kindness, respect, dependability, celebration of success, etc. True friends stick around when you need their supports. They're not only interested in spending time with you when things are good, but they also help you when life gets hard. Nowadays, it's very difficult to find a true and honest friend, particularly how the economy of my country "Nigeria" has become.

For you to identify a true friend, there are some qualities he/she must possess for you to know they are true friend. Some of these qualities includes; honesty, trust, empathy, loyalty, ss, acceptance, able to forgive, being kind, compassionate, encouragement, good listener, makes you smile, etc. If you and your friend have trust, equality, compassion, honesty, and independence, you already have the foundation of a strong, healthy and true friendship.

Image Source

---

In Summary, If your friend is always competiting and comparing yourself with you, he/she could be a frenemy. Real friends tends to celebrate your accomplishments rather than behaving in a competitive way. Thank you for your time..!! Here comes the end of my post today. Hopefully, you've learnt from here.. I wish to invite my special friends @gracyc @entity01 @jasminemary to join this contest.. Thank you once more..!!😊

---