SLC-S29/W3-“Thinking and Ideas!| Seeing Problems Differently!”
One everyday problem I often see in my community is the difficulty people have in setting personal boundaries in social life. Many people feel pressured to always be available, to always say yes, and to always follow what others want. They are afraid of being judged as rude, distant, or uncaring. This problem may seem small, but it deeply affects emotional health and inner peace.
The first step to solving this problem is self-awareness. We need to recognize our own limits. Not every invitasi on must be accepted, and not every request must be fulfilled. Being honest with ourselves is important before being honest with others. If we are tired, busy, or emotionally overwhelmed, it is okay to say no. In my experience, asking for help from God is also essential. Humans are not strong enough to manage emotions alone. Prayer helps calm the heart and gives strength to make responsible decisions.
This problem still exists even though many people are aware of it because social pressure is very strong. Society often teaches that a good person is someone who always sacrifices themselves for others. Because of this mindset, many people are afraid to speak honestly. They worry about hurting others, but in the process, they slowly hurt themselves. Cultural habits such as feeling guilty or “not wanting to disappoint” others make this problem continue.
The most misunderstood part of this issue is the belief that setting boundaries means rejecting people or ending relationships. In reality, setting boundaries is not about hatred or avoidance. It is about balance and self-respect. Stoicism teaches that not everything is under our control. Other people’s feelings, reactions, and opinions are outside our control. What we can control is our own attitude, choices, and responses.
Through a simple understanding of stoicism, I learned that emotions are natural. Feeling uncomfortable, sad, or guilty when saying no is normal. However, we do not have to obey every emotion. Instead, we can choose how to act wisely. I try to continue my role as a social being without excess. When someone says something that hurts my heart, I try to stay calm, ask God to soften my heart, and choose forgiveness.
If after that the relationship becomes less close, I learn to accept it. Not every relationship is meant to stay the same forever. Letting go does not always mean failure. Sometimes it is a sign of growth and maturity. Stoicism helps me accept change as a natural part of life and reminds me that peace comes from acceptance, not control.
If I could change one mindset related to this issue, it would be the belief that our worth is measured by how much we please others. Being kind does not mean losing yourself. Setting boundaries does not make someone selfish. In fact, healthy boundaries help us become more honest, emotionally stable, and responsible for our own lives.
By seeing this problem differently, social life becomes lighter and healthier. We can still care for others, still interact, and still fulfill our social responsibilities without exhausting ourselves. Stoicism, when understood simply, is not about becoming cold or emotionless. It is about living with self-control, inner
peace, and trust in God for things beyond our control.
At the end of this post, I would like to invite my friends @trielsi, @zilacalista, and @nafisaamalia to join this contest and share their own thoughts and ideas. I believe everyone has a unique perspective worth reading.