SLC-S29/W4-“Thinking and Ideas!| Rethinking the Normal!”

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Many people rarely challenge the status quo. Some avoid sharing their thoughts on specific matters because countering most norms is greeted with opposition, ostracisation or stigmatisation. Those who challenge norms are usually labelled non-conformist or "woke." Others are either martyred like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr or beaten to silence like the protesting Kenyan youths.

However, I believe that those who question the "normal" aren't rebels. And those who choose to step away from the "usual" aren't actually evil.

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📌 In this week's Thinking and Ideas, I'm rethinking the normal: Childbirth and the believe that all adults need offsprings to complete them.

_{Do you agree? Unsplash}

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From the moment you are born, everyone knows just how your life would be. Or should I say "how it should be".

• Go to school
• Get a job
• Start a family

From puberty, your aunty starts making jokes about how cute you'd look in a purple maternity gown. Your mom teases you about being an odogwu's wife and wouldn't spare a chance to tell you why you should grow up quickly so you could give her "beautiful" grandkids.

They seem like subtle, harmless jokes. But those remarks echo social expectations louder than the words themselves.

📌 Everyone believes you should have kids.

So, if a person chooses not to marry or procreate, they seem like some alien arriving from Mars. Their choices are questioned and the average person begins to second-guess their decisions.

"Are these ones even normal?"
"Why wouldn't you want to have kids?"

It doesn't stop here.

Individuals, who by the fate of nature can't conceive or reproduce begin to question their existence and relevance. Women are driven into depression after discovering their partner has a health challenge that affects their chances of reproducing.

Many resorts to various means (good and bad) just to have a charming cherub in their arms. A bundle of joy that would give society a reason to turn its condensing eyes away from them.

📌 Procreation is as old as mankind

_{Aren't they beautiful? Unsplash}

You see, there is nothing basically wrong with procreation. In fact, it's a natural and beautiful process (though risky in some cases). However, because of its commonality, a few number of individuals pause to question why we should have kids or consider it normal for a couple to comfortably live in the company of Ragdolls and fluffy Pomeranians.

Come to think of it, isn't this how our first parents, Adam and Eve, lived? With lions, rugged looking chimpanzees and bonobos in the garden. 🙂

Now, people abstain from procreating for different valid reasons:

• Lack of stable economic means.
• High cost of healthcare.
• The degrading healthcare system in some regions, particularly maternity healthcare.
• Severe health complications that arise during or after pregnancy (this is an aspect that's rarely discussed in the open), etc.

📌 I believe a lot would improve if everyone starts seeing childbirth as a choice, not a mandate. If we go back to embracing life in the garden, I believe that:

• It will increase companionship over multiplication. You'd agree with me that once children grow and leave, a couple is left with only each other. This is where true companionship comes in.
• Reduced expectations: There will be lesser pressure to fit in, especially for those who are yet to find a life partner.
• Less stigmatisation: People with existing medical conditions who can't have biological kids will feel less stigmatised and probably open to adoption or any other legal options.
• Flexible laws: Abortion laws would get flexible as well, protecting people's reproductive rights while granting people the freedom to make healthier choices.

The concept of family might expand beyond blood ties. Many families might no longer be defined only by blood and birth.

📌 Final Thoughts
Many times, we say that marriage doesn't complete a person. That being single doesn't make people less whole. I believe this should apply to parenthood as well. Having kids shouldn't complete people either. One can have a happy union whether it's blessed with cute cherubs or not.

Let's discuss
I'd like to know your thoughts as well.

• Should childbirth be considered compulsory for all adults?
• Can a society survive and thrive if procreation becomes entirely optional? What might we gain or lose?
• Can refusing to have offspring have a severe negative impact on society?
• What's your society's norm?
• How do they view childbirth?

_{I invite @blessedlife, @chant, @Ilorgic, @aviral123, and @pandora2010 to join the contest by @ninapenda.}