Letting Off Steem
I had a brain fog for days recently. Each time I tried writing nothing came. What was weird was that I had a lot of things going on in my head, I could easily have picked something off the top of my head. Still, I couldn't put words together. It's worse than any writer's block I've previously had.
It had me wondering if the one thing I've always loved doing and might be good at was actually my thing, writing my thoughts that is. I felt good and felt bad at the same time. Hopeful and hopeless about the future. Bothered about this phase of my life and also relaxed. It didn't help that at the same time there were killings happening in the country. I was already a mess and seeing all of the horrid photos on the internet of murdered people made it worse. I cried almost everyday, heck, I cried this morning.
I still am not able to articulate my feelings, sometimes I don't even know why I'm so anxious and it bothers me. I've never been to a doctor or talked to a professional about my mental health but I fear I'm in a bad place, I always have been.
Making outfits takes my mind off worrying for a while so it's one way to let off steam. I wish I could find new things to do to occupy my mind. Before corona I had my calendar for the rest of the year filled with book events, private screenings and talks but that was in Abuja. Now I'm back to my hometown and we don't have such events here.
Now I'm thinking of ways to let off all of this anxiety that doesn't involve sewing or alcohol.