Ghosted III: Healing After Silence.

How do you say you love someone and can stay for days without hearing their voice and you are okay? How do you love someone without waking up with beautiful thoughts of them? How do you love someone and not want to hear their voice first thing in the morning?

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Isn’t love supposed to be secure and satisfying? Isn’t love supposed to be simply? She mused within herself. Dad, isn’t love suppose to be simply? I believe in Love and that love is supposed to be simple she quipped. Her dad nodded in agreement, love is supposed to be simple but men make it complex he said.

It’s been days and he hasn’t called. She miss him but didn’t want to call as she’s been the only one doing the first reaching out all while. When she does, some times he returns the gesture but there’s no push on his side to always reach out to her. She didn’t want to seem desperate.

Christmas drew near and she was planning on a visit back home. He didn’t ask about her itinerary for the Christmas season but she told him anyways during one of their discussions. They were supposed to see each other. It’s been three months since they got talking again. He was supposed to come see her but he gave the excuse of the trip being capital intensive and didn’t come. He said the flight ticket is too high and yet he can’t also take bus trip, that’s it’s too stressful.

Is this a product of money or lack of passion? She felt hurt but didn’t want to sound as though she didn’t understand. She had heard stories of people who made great sacrifices for the people they love and had even seen movies portray that. Well, she’s an understanding girl friend, what can she do. Her policy has always been to go for peace no matter what.

Her Christmas itinerary would take close to a month. She asked if they can meet in between or wait till the end. He said he would prefer they meet towards the end of her stay so she could have nothing hindering her attention. You want to keep me for one week right? Well, I will only stay for two days she said. Till then, he said.

Well, I am flying she said and went ahead to give him other details of her trip. On her part she was excited that she would be seeing him. Though they don’t talk much those days but she was hoping the getting to see each other would solve the gap between them. He has reiterated in the past that he doesn’t date women who are far from him. He preferred close relationship with his dates he quipped. So why are you talking to me? She asked. I don’t know he replied.

Soon the Christmas turned into new year and on that new year day, they spent about two hours on the phone. Making up for the days they didn’t talk she thought. The next day she couldn’t sleep in the morning and around 3am she texted him. The text delivered showing he was online. That’s rather strange. He usually puts his data off when he’s asleep. She called but he didn’t pick. He called back shortly.

I missed your call he said. Yes, I couldn’t sleep, she answered. Well, I was calling so we could pray together. They haven’t prayed together in a long while as they usually do. Okay. I saw your text, I will call you after the call he said. Somehow within her, she felt he wasn’t going to call back. There’s been so many times he said that and never called back. She was hoping he would call this time around.

Well, minutes turns into hours and hours into days. It been five days and he didn’t call back. She didn’t bother calling back. Her heart ached but she wasn’t ready to chase any man’s affection. She saw a missed call from him on Whatsap after five days and called back. He sounded like everything was fine. She couldn’t imagined that he didn’t even remember that he said he was going to call her five days ago but didn’t.

She felt hurt but she didn’t mention it. While they were talking, he was distracted with work while on the phone with her. Let’s talk later she said, probably when you are less busy. Ok he said. Two days later she called him. I don’t understand this our love this year she said jokingly. He laughed heartily as if everything was alright. Just then something needed her attention. I will call you back she said and the phone went off.

Few minutes later, she called back twice but he didn’t pick up. She dropped a text for him. Some hours later, she noticed he had read the text and seen her calls but didn’t return any of them. She kept quiet waiting to see if he will return the text or any of the calls but days later he didn’t call back. After some days, she couldn’t bear it anymore. She texted him to find out what’s going on and why the blanking out all these while.

He said there was no problem that he was observing some days of prayer and seeking directions for the year. She was flabbergasted. What? How does taking out time to pray make you keep someone you are in a relationship with in the dark with no form of communication. You would have just told me that you would like to take time out for yourself and may not be active in keeping touch. But you decided to keep me in the dark. She felt so pained.

He only sent a flower sticker to her and she said it wasn’t accepted. The silence lingered. Then one of those days she asked him for a contact she needed to make enquires from. He has made promise to send it before but didn’t. He read the text and didn’t answer her. She called the next morning. After their normal greetings, she asked why he hasn’t answered her text and he said he saw the text by 3am and said he would send it to her later in the day. Till date he didn’t send the contact.

My itinerary would be rounding up by weekend she told him. Do you still want us to see or would I interfere with your prayers she asked? We can still see he said. This conversation happened on a Saturday. They were supposed to meet the next Friday. She was expecting him to at least check up on her and they have time to at least make plans together as to what their meeting would look like but no words for him.

Two days to the meeting day, yet no words from him. The night before their meeting day, still no word from him. Dad, I was supposed to see him tomorrow but no words from him, check up on him, your relationship is not just about the visit her dad said. She wrote him a text checking up on him to which he replied but made no mention of the visit. Tell him you want to confirm if he’s still expecting you as earlier planned, her father further advised.

She texted him again around past 8pm but he didn’t see the text until past midnight but he didn’t reply her text. The next morning she was to join her dad’s driver to drop off his guest at the airport in the town where he lives. Hoping they would meetup. She called him that morning and he said he didn’t reply cos he was busy. So she asked him what next and just as he started talking, the line began to breakup. I can’t hear you, she’s said. I am in transit. Will call you when I alight.

What was supposed to be a get back after five minutes lingered to over an hour plus. He didn’t call back. She was almost at the airport. She called again and he didn’t answer. They got to the airport. Their guest had checked in and the driver asked her of her plans. She called him again and also texted on Whatsap. Five missed calls and a text telling him she was at the airport hopefully to see him. I would have to leave if I don’t hear from you soonest she chipped in.

Silence followed and the driver and her sister was waiting for her to make up her mind. She was stranded. Here she was ghosted by the man she loved. She looked forward to seeing him. He asked her to come and then ghosted her.

She had to plead with the drivers sister to stay with her a while hoping she would get a response from him before the day runs off. Meanwhile inbetween her heart was heavy. She cried and cried. She didn’t believe he could treat her like this. She loved him. She was patient and understanding enough. She held him in high esteem. She wasn’t expecting this kind of treatment from him.

The next day she had to find her way home cos there was still no word from him. Hours turned to days and days to weeks and yet no words from him. She had gotten to accept her situation. Meanwhile posterity didn’t leave her in the dark. A week before all he’s acting up, she had a dream where she was telling her friends that the man she was dating broke up with her because she refused to sleep with him. Two days later she had another dream where she went to visit him and saw him with another woman.

In that dream she simply walked out without saying a word. Her spirit alredy knew the mischief he as about to wrought and showed her in advance. That was her only solace. That was the only closure she got. As she writes this, she’s way better, up and doing. She had cried her cries and dusted her butt. Deleted his number from her phone and chats too. She’s picked up the pieces of her life and she’s ready to live again.

She’s ready to start again. She chose herself. She chose peace. She may not have had the best experience with love but she still believes that love is a beautiful thing and one day, she would find her one true love. One worthy of her love and that would appreciate her for who she is. Till then, she’s focused on making the most of her year and pushing her carrier. Her year may not have started well but that doesn’t stop her from having the best year. This year still remains her best year so far. It’s her year of El-roi and she would do valiantly.

When love comes again, she would love genuinely and passionately. It would be worth the while for no one loves genuinely and loses.

The end…

For full story, see…
Ghosted 1
Ghosted 11