Equal Value, Different Roles: My Sister, My Dad, and Me

Gender equity is a tough spot. I’ll begin with an incident that had transpired between my sister and me. After a family dinner, my sister told me that boys and girls are not different. She made this statement, and I quote, “What a boy can do, a girl can do better.” I smiled and told her to occupy my position for the day and the day after. She smiled. Her job was washing the dishes alone, while mine was doing all the technical work: buying ingredients, sweeping, and arranging. The deal was activated around 8 a.m., and for every action I was called for, I directed it to my sister. Soon, she began to complain: “I can’t carry this and that,” while I laughed and said, “Come on, do it better.”

Soon, Mum yelled that I should help her with some repair job, of which I called my sister to do. However, she couldn’t do it. My dad called off the whole setup and claimed that a girl can never be a boy, however, they all have different roles to play. Mum said that there’s always something that makes a boy child a boy child — something different from the usual — but a girl can equally do what a boy can do if they’re trained under the same environment.

Ha‑ha‑ha! My dad burst into laughter. He cited the Olympics as an example: “Then why do men and women play football games and relays differently? Or why do we have men’s and women’s wrestling?” It was then that my dad said gender equity is actually not “what a boy can do, a girl can do better.” It’s about giving every boy and girl equal opportunity. Saying boys and girls are on the same team for equity doesn’t mean they’re the same — it means they’re equal in value and opportunity, even if they’re different in some ways...

Gender equity, which goes in line with my culture, tends to acknowledge differences, such as those of physical strength and social experiences, but still gives both genders, either boy or girl, fair access and respect. Culturally, boys and girls are different. Physiologically and anatomically they are also different, but they deserve the same chances to grow, lead, and contribute. No girl should be deprived of education because she undergoes a monthly cycle. No woman should be made to work on farms because she is a woman.

Women in Nigeria do chores like cooking, teaching, trading and sweeping, while men do politics, technical and laborious work. This is a way to allow all women to play their part equally, according to their strength. However, civilization is changing all these things. Politics has been a “men’s thing” for a long time, and I’m happy to see women standing up these days. Women should have equal rights in different parts. Women should receive more support than men in certain areas to create equity. More so, they should receive equal respect. You should not discriminate.

So, what's the difference between equity and equality? Equity means fairness; it is about giving people what they need to reach the same outcome. Note that it is not treating everyone exactly the same. So, equity acknowledges differences and adjusts support accordingly. Like, if two students (not necessarily a girl) need help, one might get extra tutoring because they’re struggling, while the other doesn’t need it. Both get what they need to succeed — that’s equity. But equality doesn’t care about the struggling students.

Gender equity is cultural, and a female child should not think “equality” like my mum’s sister but think “equity” like my dad.

Thanks for reading. Bye!