(Do we really need Christmas or some other national, religious or commercial day to be nice? To show we care or say I love you?) I'll tell you, I'm not very expressive, but I am extremely sincere. I don't need a special occasion. When I feel something for someone, I tell them, looking them straight in the eyes. I want the person to realize that I'm sincere. I've said "I love you" very few times; in fact, I could count them on one hand and still have fingers to spare. Life has been very hard on me, and every step I take is defensive, analyzing every detail. This keeps my feelings pretty much bottled up inside. When they have surfaced, I haven't had good experiences.
It seems I'll be a handsome, single guy my whole life. Thank God, as I told you before, my face is my mother's, and she was very beautiful. A face like that on a man as rough as me is striking. The truth is, I like attracting attention this way and turning down many women.
Well, I don't like to turn down people, but I do if I know (or feel) I have nothing to offer.
"I love you" I find it hard to say as well and like you I have fingers left (on that 1 single hand. I wonder if it's easier to say to an animal? Perhaps, they don't expect you to give them the moon and stars? To always be present and give everything away?
People can be very exhausting, but dear.. being the rest of your life single and handsome I don't know. You can also have friend who appreciate, like and love you and have a good life.
Unlike you I didn't have a nice mom and my dad left as I was 11 with the words "take good care of your mother", the woman He couldn't take care of. Kind of strange thing to say. So no, I don't have an example of a loving home, not even a safe one, still it must be possible to connect to some, to reach out since if you don't people slowly forget you (great if that is what you want).
Life is long, extremely long if you have no one to visit Ikea with.
Most of us don't have good experiences and if you ask me it won't get any better since we all do as we like and we have no social skills, are not willing to listen a few minutes to another.
In short: You take revenge because of your sister, and those few who let you down, attract women and turn them down?
Read back what you wrote.
Well.. it's your life and if you like or not I like you!