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I’m not someone who loves children instantly. I can't just meet a child and immediately start playing or acting affectionately; for me, it takes time to truly like them.

One of the most rewarding things about babysitting is watching that bond grow—how they eventually start following you everywhere, watching everything you do, and finally falling asleep right beside you.

I once cared for a timid girl who had suffered at the hands of someone else. After a long bout with chickenpox, she ran to me and hugged me so tight that it melted my heart.

But people come and go, and children do too. I always have a terrible time saying goodbye—I cry as if there’s no tomorrow.

Even now, I often dream about them and wake up wondering how they are doing and who they've become.

 25 days ago 

I also do not like every child and am not blind for who my children are or what tgey do. Like you I also wonder what came out of all those children I took care of or met. I consider that a normal thing to do.