You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Open Happiness (Week 3): Touching lives through Selfless Giving!
Goodevening friends, hope your weekend was great. Welcome to Open talk for tonight.
Here is our question/topic:
According to you, is it proper for a newly wed man to take his wife to the Parents home to live together with them?
Why would you recommed or not recommend it? Any personal experiences, or observations from what happened to others that did it? Lets hear you out.
Good evening Sire
How are you doing?
So, concerning this issue of whether or not a married man should take his wife to his parent's house.
I would not recommend such because they need their privacy. Taking his wife to his house would make her vulnerable and there would be lots of third parties in their family.
I'm not married but I believe marriage is between a man and his wife. Besides they need to raise their children outside of where their father was raised.
I have witnessed cases where a man married his wife into his parents house. The mother in law either loses her respect or the wife. Respect can be earned from a far.
Really, that point is interesting. So going by this, if you loved the man so much and the prevailing circumstances (for example he lost his job few months to the wedding) demand that you start from the parents home, what will you do?
Well sir @focusnow
I will support him to get a house, after all I'm his helpmate and I love him.
I agree with you @ebunoluwani
Peace and Respect is better from afar most times.
Truly it is. There can be occasional visits but it shouldn't be our abode.
@samuel20
Good evening sire
Nice topic😁
Do I have any right to talk ?? This is probably for the grown ups?🌚😅
Welcome @mesonia, how are you today?
I'm good sire, you?
Am cool. very fine. Waiting for your opinion of the above issue
Haha, you are of marriageable age dear. So make your input
Good evening @mesonia, how you doing
Anyway, it's not wrong for a newlywed ride to visit her new home after the wedding day but staying there for a long time... I don't like it
Why would you not like it for them to live together with the family, in the family house?
The man with his wife is a family and need some measure of privacy and independence.
Mother in-law can be something else, they mistake couple's love life to weak points.
They count on every step the new wife takes.
They find all faults which your husband ignores. Some times they misquote husband's patience and understanding as an override from the wife
@focusnow, even if one has a lovely mother inlaw it father in-law, the new couple deserves some privacy and respect.
Uto na aka mma na mbiarute, Igbo oroverbs
You have made a very nice point. Thank you so much.
Nice topic but can this happened
It happens. There are different opinions about the matter. So we want to hear you out.
Yes it happens. I've witnessed this before
Yes it can happen but I pray that it can not happen to me
Good evening sir, after wedding I have to take my wife to my house not my parent house.
Why will you not manage in your parents house. there must be a reason.
For me to have mine respect, I can't take my wife to my parents house.
For me to have mine
Respect, I can't take my wife
To my parents house.
- val123
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Ok. Apart from respect, do you think any problem will come out from it?
Yes sir, problem might come out base on when the disrespect you that your family members we be talking to you any how the like
On point
Why will a grown man that feels he is capable of taking care of a woman go and manage in his parent's house...
Nice question. So are you advising ladies to turn down a man who has that as his only option during the proposal? What will you do?
Seriously, in life, there are stages and a man that can not afford a house shouldnt think of marriage, i wouldnt advise any lady to accept such proposal. Cos even the bible said it, "a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they will become one" Not join to his wife and go back to his father and mother's house.
Honestly, I think if you aren't living independently, marriage shouldn't even come to your mind
Exactly. Because there are some other issues that will arise, how does the man want to sort that out..
Exactly my point
It didn't even sound okay in hearing
Really? Do you know that some can have serious challenges that require staying with a parent as the last option. For example, the man lost his job and the woman does not have a job. What do you think?
Seriously, this can not be an excuse, a man needs to have plans A and B if possible to Z...going back to your father's house shouldnt be an option.
We have to stay for a mean time and also the we have to endure any disrespect although there are some family that understand
Lol...seriously.
This is the real question at hand
I don't recommend a newly wedded couple times to go back to the man's family house. It doesn't look/sound good at all.
The couple will not have their respect.
It also shows the guy is not matured enough to get married.
Really? Apart from not being mature, are there other reasons you do not recommend that. Any challenges that may arise?
The newly wedded wife will not be free in the own home.
She will always be careful not to offend anyone.
Things wouldn't just be normal.
Nice topic sir.
My opinion from observations
Is not good for a newly wedded man to take his wife to the village to live with his parents.
Reason:
It is better for the wife to visit once awhile
Really? You have a point there. Apart from this, are there any other reasons?
Good evening @focusnow. This is an interesting topic.
Well for me i dont think it is proper for a newly wed man to take his wife to his parents house to live together with them with my following reasons:
*At that stage the newly wedded needs space and time to really mingle and know them selves better without interference from anyone especially relatives.
*Some parents especially from the groom side would want to be in control of what happens in the marriage thereby intruding.
*Most times respect is lost, both from the married wife and from the parents
I dont have a personal experience but i have had friends who are married discuss this matter and it didnt end well..
Really? So going by this, its a bad idea. What if that is the only thing the proposing guy has, should a lady reject it because of that alone?
Yes its a bad idea. A man should be ready for marriage before getting into it o.
But lets say thats the only option then they should tread with caution
Sir the thing is our culture looks at any man that takes his wife to live with his parents as one who is not responsible
Even the scripture does not even support a man living with his parents after marriage. The scripture says "Therfore a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife"
Oh I see. culturally and scripturally its wrong. Thats nice. Now what if something happened (maybe the man lost his job) and that is the only option. Will you say no to the man you love because of that reason?
Sir is not the question here. Anyways if such circumstance should occur i would prefer to stay with a friend closeby and sort things out. There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Going to the parents house will be the last option if need be
Is not good at all for the man to even take his wife to live with parents even if is the only child or only son.
The wife cannot make decisions on her own which is very important to newly married couples
Good evening boss @focusnow, it's a great work keeping this community together and lively. W
Whats you view of the above topic